This involves hitting a ball off the tee into a sand trap or pond. Wait—scratch that. Our mind is already on the weekend, sorry.

Water on the Road

Slow down a bit when driving over slippery pavement, but not so slow that you cause traffic problems behind you. Be especially cautious when traveling at more than 50 mph, as you run the risk of “hydroplaning”. This is when your tires lose traction and your car simply glides across the water. You can see how this might be a problem. If it happens to you, as much as you’ll want to slam on the brakes to halt your sideways progress, you’re better off applying the brakes gradually. At the earliest opportunity, move to Los Angeles so you’ll never have to see or deal with rain again.

Roads are at their most dangerous at the very onset of rain, as there is still oil and dust on the road that has not yet been rinsed off to the side. Be extra-careful on hot days, as the heat brings the oil to the surface. You don’t want to be on the receiving end of a hot oil treatment.

Follow these guidelines:

1. Wet road - Go 5-10 mph slower than you would normally. Unless you’re the slowest driver known to man; then keep up the good work.
2. Packed snow - Cut your speed in half. Also, be sure to clear ALL SNOW off of your vehicle before you begin driving.
3. Ice – Drive very slowly and cautiously. You don’t want to run over any ice fisherman. Or, ya know, slide off of the road and into a tree.
4. Fire and brimstone - Go double the speed limit, unless you want to stay here for all eternity.

Also watch out for ice on bridges, as bridges tend to freeze more quickly than most roads, and the ice can be harder to spot. Word on the street is that Professor Coldheart is behind this.