Aspirin Count Theory

Maybe don’t use this theory if you’re trying to be a finance guru. The aspirin count theory is a not-so-real theory that relates aspirin sales to the markets. Really, it’s a joke.

When the markets take a hit, crabby traders need aspirin to deal with the headache, thus making the sale of aspirin pop. When the markets soar, the sale of aspirin declines because no one has a headache...until the morning after they’ve celebrated.

(We’d rather redefine it to relate to the masses. Aspirin Count Theory: The fact that you’ll only lack aspirin when you have a headache. Other times, you won’t need it, but you’ll have a ton.)