The 500 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins Principles Quotes

How we cite our quotes: (Paragraph)

Quote #1

"Yes, indeed, Sire," answered Bartholomew, feeling greatly relieved. "I do take off my hat before my King."

"Then take it off this very instant," commanded the King more loudly than before.

"But, Sire, my hat is off," answered Bartholomew. (21-23)

Sure, Bartholomew is in trouble here, but it's not like he went against his principles and went looking for it. It's some serious Discworld shenanigans when a hat just ups and decides not leave its owner's head.

Quote #2

For a moment, Bartholomew was terribly frightened. "Still," he thought to himself, "the King can do nothing dreadful to punish me, because I really haven't done anything wrong. It would be cowardly to be afraid." (45)

Bartholomew sticks to his principles because he assures himself that the King will stick to his. He can't be punished for not wrongdoing, can he? And to be fair, he isn't punished. Just barely, though.

Quote #3

"Fiddlesticks!" grunted the executioner, throwing his axe on the floor. "I can't execute you at all." And he shook hands with Bartholomew and sent him back upstairs to the King. (118)

The executioner sticks by his principles and doesn't wallop off Bartholomew's head. B. Cubbins does the same, and shakes hands with the man.

Quote #4

"I won't wait," the Grand Duke talked back to the King. "I'm going to push him off now! That new big hat makes me madder than ever." And he flung out his arms to push Bartholomew off. (137)

Fie and shame, Wilfred. You aren't trying to take care of the Bartholomew problem to please the King; you're trying to do so to please yourself. That hardly qualifies as a set of principles.

Quote #5

"Five Hundred!" exclaimed the King. "Will you sell it for 500 pieces of gold?"

"Anything you say, Sire," answered Bartholomew. "You see… I've never sold one before."

The King's hands trembled with joy as he reached for the hat. (141-143)

Even after all he's been through, Bartholomew still follows his principles by following the King's orders. Of course, he's 500 gold coins richer, so that's hardly a setback.