To Snip Or Not To Snip?
- In Judea, there's a bunch of guys talking about circumcision. Mainly, they're saying that no one can be saved unless they're circumcised. Paul and Barnabas don't agree. Male Gentiles everywhere rejoice.
- Paul and Barnabas decide to head to Jerusalem to take up the topic with the twelve apostles and elders to get their opinion on the big snip.
- Some of the Christians there say that male converts need to be circumcised. After all, a follower of Jesus still has to follow the laws of Moses.
- But Peter stands up and tells everyone that God is cool with the Gentiles. If he wants to give them the Holy Spirit, the fact that their junk is still intact isn't gonna stop him. Besides, they all know that the path to salvation goes through Jesus, not Jewish law.
- Paul and Barnabas agree and tell all kinds of stories about how faithful and spirit-filled the new Gentile-Christians are. They're model converts.
- James also tells everyone that he agrees with Peter. He decides that there are only a few things Gentiles need to avoid. They shouldn't worship idols, have sex outside of marriage, eat any animal that hasn't been ritually slaughtered, or drink animal blood. Sounds simple enough.
The Penis Monologues
- So it is debated, so it is done. The apostles write up a letter that Paul and Barnabas will circulate to the Gentile believers. Judas Barsabbas and Silas also tag along with them.
- In Antioch, everyone is glad to hear the news. No animal blood means intact penises all around.
- Sadly, Paul and Barnabas have a bit of a falling out over who gets to come to the next town with them. Paul doesn't want John Mark tagging along with them again.
- The dynamic duo splits. Barnabas takes John Mark with him and Paul goes on ahead with Silas. It's the end of an era.