Interview with Ajax
Shmoop's crack team of P.I.s recently broke into the offices of Dr. Logos, esteemed therapist of the gods. The following transcript paints a revealing portrait of Ajax, who apparently is still troubled by the things that happened to him in life, despite the fact that he's been dead in the Underworld for years.
Dr. Logos: Hello, Ajax.
Ajax: Doc.
Dr. Logos: Have a seat, please.
Ajax: I'll stand, thanks.
Dr. Logos: Oh do sit. The couch has been reinforced since your last visit.
Ajax: I will stand. Thank you, Dr. Logos.
Dr. Logos: Oh my… well. If you insist.
Ajax: I do.
Dr. Logos: I'm sensing a bit of hostility from you today.
Ajax: Gee, really?
Dr. Logos: Can you tell me about that?
Ajax: I told you I was never coming back here. You went to Lord Hades behind my back. He forced me to come.
Dr. Logos: It's my job, Ajax. You understand that, don't you? All souls who came to the Underworld through suicide require periodic psychological analysis. It's my duty. Wasn't it your duty that took you to Troy?
Ajax: Whatever.
Dr. Logos: Have a seat, please.
Ajax: I'm not sitting on your stupid couch. The last time it snapped in half!
Dr. Logos: You are a rather immense man, Ajax. I've reinforced it as I've said.
Ajax: I'm standing.
Dr. Logos: Oh very well, very well… Tell me then, have you had any more of those dreams?
Ajax: I don't dream.
Dr. Logos: I've heard differently.
Ajax: Tecmessa better not have said anything.
Dr. Logos: You have a good and loyal wife.
Ajax: I don't deserve her. I sacked her home city. Killed her father. Robbed her people. Took her as my property.
Dr. Logos: Do these things haunt you?
Ajax: Whatever.
Dr. Logos: Tell me, what have you been doing for recreation?
Ajax: Me and Hector wrestle.
Dr. Logos: You respect him, do you? A Trojan?
Ajax: The man has honor. More than I can say for most Greeks I know.
Dr. Logos: You still have a lot of anger, don't you?
Ajax: I'm fine. Are we done here?
Dr. Logos: We still have a bit more time.
Ajax: I am fine.
Dr. Logos: Tell me about the dreams, Ajax.
Ajax: I don't—
Dr. Logos: Ajax…half of Elysium hears you bellowing in the night.
Ajax: I don't care what they—
Dr. Logos: Tell me, and I'll tell Lord Hades that you never need to see me again.
Ajax: You want to hear about my dreams?
Dr. Logos: I do, indeed.
Ajax: You mean the ones where I hack up Odysseus, Agamemnon, and Menelaus and all those other Greeks who betrayed me? Where they beg for mercy and finally admit that I was truly the greatest living Greek warrior after Achilles died? Where they scream, "Please, please, please! Take Achilles' armor! You deserve it!"? Then I put on Achilles' gleaming armor and stand triumphantly. Then I hear laughter—waves and waves of mocking laughter. And suddenly my fallen foes turn into sheep. Dead sheep. All around me. And I turn, and the entire Greek army and the entire Trojan army all stand pointing and laughing at mad Ajax. Big crazy Ajax who killed a bunch of sheep, thinking they were his enemies. And the laughter hits me like fists, like mountains of fists all crashing down on me, making me small, and smaller, and…
[The sound of Ajax weeping like a baby.]
Dr. Logos: There now Ajax, there now. Have a seat, please.
Ajax: [blubbering] Okay, Doc.
[Ajax sits on the couch. There's a loud crash as it snaps in half. The giant man roars in rage]
Ajax: I thought you reinforced it!
Dr. Logos: I did, I did!
Ajax: You're just like the rest! You want to humiliate me! Mock me!
Dr. Logos: No, Ajax! I swear! I'm a therapist, not a carpenter!
Ajax: Rhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
[More crashing and the splintering of wood as Ajax bashes down the door with his huge fists and runs away.]
Dr. Logos: Hmmm… I'd call that progress.