Quote 1
TOUCHSTONE
And I mine. I remember when I was
in love I broke my sword upon a stone and bid him
take that for coming a-night to Jane Smile; and I
remember the kissing of her batler and the cow's
dugs that her pretty chopped hands had milked; (2.4.45-49)
In case you hadn't noticed, Touchstone has a sense of humor about his past experiences with country-style love, which apparently involved making out with Jane Smile, a girl whose hands were chapped from milking cows.
Quote 2
TOUCHSTONE
The more pity, that fools may not speak wisely what
wise men do foolishly. (1.2.85-86)
After Rosalind tells Touchstone to stop talking, Touchstone complains that, in the court, fools' words have no merit, but sometimes fools are best able to comment on what is really going on. Although Touchstone ultimately obeys Rosalind, the truth is that Touchstone is a "licensed fool" (a guy who literally has a license to say whatever he wants without getting into trouble). Paid fools were pretty common in the households of royalty and nobility in Elizabethan England and they pop up all over in Shakespearean drama. Even though they clown around a lot, they're typically the smartest characters in the plays. For example, think of the Fool in King Lear and Feste in Twelfth Night.
Quote 3
TOUCHSTONE
Stand you both forth now: stroke your
chins, and swear by your beards that I am a knave.
CELIA
By our beards (if we had them), thou art.
TOUCHSTONE
By my knavery (if I had it), then I were.
But if you swear by that that not, you are not
forsworn. No more was this knight, swearing by his
honor, for he never had any, or if he had, he had
sworn it away before ever he saw those pancakes or
that mustard. (1.2.71-79)
Touchstone responds to Celia's accusation that he is a "knave" (foolish idiot). On the surface, Touchstone's response seems like total nonsense that's designed to make us laugh, which it does. (After all, what the heck do mustard and pancakes have to do with anything?) At the same time, Touchstone is the master of witty argumentation. Here, he points out that you can't be accused of lying if you swear on your honor and it turns out that you don't have any honor to begin with. Of course, if you would swear by what you do not have, you are dishonorable to begin with. Sigh.