Beauty Queens Chapter 8 Summary

  • Shanti, Petra, Nicole, and Tiara wake up in a lava field. They start walking back to the beach.
  • Shanti gives Petra a hard time for clinging to her case, but Petra explains that her medicine was in there. She says she has a hormonal condition. Tiara doesn't know what that is and thinks Petra has an STD, which she calls "an STP." (8.13) So much for challenging beauty queen stereotypes.
  • The girls entertain themselves by singing Boyz Will B Boyz (a former boy band) songs. Except for Shanti, who walks ahead of them.
  • Shanti used to love winning and hired a coach, Mrs. Mirabov, to help her win the Miss Teen Dream pageant. Mrs. Mirabov said her ambitious personality wasn't likeable. To make her likeable, they decided to present her as an assimilated immigrant, a mix of Indian culture and American interests.
  • Shanti feels like a huge fraud.
  • The girls fall asleep. Shanti wakes up and realizes Tiara is missing. They find Tiara in a bush, having eaten a lot of fruit.
  • She seems okay, so the other girls try it. Unfortunately, the fruit is hallucinogenic, and the girls start tripping out big-time.
  • Shanti thinks she's a kite. She tells Mrs. Mirabov to hold onto her, but the wind wants her to let go of Mirabov's grasp. Mrs. Mirabov reminds her that she isn't likeable, but Shanti gives in to the wind and lets go.
  • Petra feels like she's part of the bedtime story her mother used to tell her when she was little. In the story, she's a frog who thinks she's a princess, but then she meets a real princess, who makes her look at her reflection in the river which shows her as a frog. Frog-Petra seeks the Wise Witch of the Woods, who takes her to a dark part of the river and tells her to make a wish and jump.
  • Deep.
  • Nicole enters a gingerbread house full of three sassy black sidekicks from TV. She realizes they used to be beauty queens with individual interests. Her mother is there and tells her a giant is coming, and Nicole runs out of the house but is overcome by a white space.
  • This fruit could make someone bank.
  • Scene change! Back to the classified section.
  • Agent Jones, seemingly the agent from the last Classified scene, is in a company building inside the volcano. He has to deal with the former CEO's son, Harris, who is there as an intern. And not the brightest intern. Harris just rigged the volcano's override system to respond only to PowerPoint.
  • Jones and Harris head to the conference room. Jones gives a presentation on how The Corporation's island resources are running low, so they're covertly giving MoMo B. ChaCha, aka The Peacock, explosives in exchange for letting The Corporation set up shop in his country.
  • Momo is the insane dictator of a nearby country. Crazy as in having a stuffed animal named General Good Times as his advisor. He's supposed to come to the island soon for the trade.
  • The U.S. levied sanctions against him, so The Corporation has to trade with him secretly. So they've hidden explosives inside Lady 'Stache Off. At least that explains the snake explosion from last chapter.