Five Guys Hang Out
- King Adoni-zedek of Jerusalem hears about the sieges of Jericho and Ai, as well as the treaty of Gibeon, and becomes incredibly frightened.
- He calls the kings of Hebron, Jarmuth, Lachish, and Eglon to make war against Gibeon and get back at them for making peace with Joshua. The kings agree and everyone sets up their war camps. We're thinking there wasn't too much s'more making around those campfires.
- The Gibeonites send word to Joshua that they are going to be attacked, and Joshua and his army ride through the night to help out because, in case you hadn't noticed, they're pretty hardcore.
- The opposing army panics at the sight of the Israelites, and flees into a hailstorm that kills most of them. Seems like dying was on the agenda no matter what that day.
- The text backtracks for a moment to let us know that the reason God was so on top of things for this fight was because Joshua got in touch and was all like, Hey, God—help an army out. And God listened, which is a pretty big deal since Joshua's just a lowly human.
- Verse 13 mentions the Book of Jasher. The thing about Jasher, though, is that you won't be able to find it anywhere in the Bible. Not these days anyway. The general consensus amongst scholars and religious types, though, is that Jasher was—at one time—another of the biblical books.
- The Israelites return to Gilgal where they were originally camped.
- Word reaches Joshua that the five kings are hiding in a cave at Makkedah.
- Joshua decides that if they want to hide, they can stay hidden. So he orders some guys to roll a large stone in front of the cave to block the kings inside. Olly Olly oxen free?
- This is the least fun version of seven minutes in heaven we can think of.
- The Israelites are told to hunt down the remaining warriors and lay waste to them, which of course they do.
- When Joshua orders the stone rolled away from the cave, he also orders the kings brought before him. Uh-oh, kings…
- Joshua totally smites all five of them and hangs them each from their own tree.
- When the sun starts to set, Joshua has those five dead kings tossed back into the cave and the cave sealed up again with stones. Word on the street is that those stones remain to this day.
- You know when sportscasters rehash a big game play-by-play after it ends? That's what the rest of this chapter is.
- Even the biblical writers knew you must always end your writing with a proper, well thought out conclusion.