Bran the Blessed's Conversations

Bran the Blessed's Conversations

Wall

Efnisien

Guess what I did?

I really don't want to know.

Efnisien

Check the stables.

Ugh! Why did you cut up all the gorgeous horses Matholwch gave us?

Efnisien

It's called payback. Those Irishmen are a pain and I didn't want our sister marrying one of them.

You have no concept of gratitude. It's like that time you ate my birthday cake before I even got a chance to blow out the candles.

Branwen

Bran! Check your aviary!

Hey, Branwen. I just see a starling there. What's up?

Branwen

Look at the message tied to its leg, dummy!

WHAT? Matholwch cast you out of his house and sent you to the kitchens? Why?

Branwen

He's still ticked off at our family because Efnisien maimed the horses he gave us.

Don't worry. I'll save you.

Matholwch

Bran, you owe me a gift!

Why? What did Efnisien do now?

Matholwch

It's still the same problem. I don't think you British respect us enough. How could he cut up our horses otherwise?

I'm so over this. Will you shut up if I give you my magic cauldron? If you drop a dead guy in it, he'll come back to life.

Matholwch

Sounds good!

is playing Grand Theft Auto. What are these "auto" things, though? I don't get it.

Wading across the ocean to get to Ireland. Wet clothes suuuuuck.

Gwern

Aaah!

What is it, little buddy? You're my nephew; you know I got your back.

Gwern

Uncle Efnisien threw me into a fire. He got really peeved when you forced my dad off the throne of Ireland in my favor, so he decided to make me well-done.

He'll pay! I'm so sorry.

Gwern

Nothing you can do now. He killed himself by jumping into the magic cauldron you gave my dad.

Ugh. He never got the punishment he deserved. What a bully!

Taliesin

Who's there? Bran, are you alive? That was one bloody battle against Matholwch. Plus, those Irish kept tossing their dead into that cauldron, so they were reborn.

I'm not doing so well, pal. I got hit in the foot with a poisoned arrow. It's a bit hard to walk. I checked around, though. It's worse than we thought—only seven of us are still alive, and I don't think I'm gonna make it.

Taliesin

Noooo! What will we do without you?

First of all, make sure my son Caradog doesn't eat too much sugar. Second, cut off my head and stick it under the White Hill near Londinium. It should be facing east. That way, I'll always protect England against invasion from that direction.

is chilling under what's now the Tower of London. Or, at least, my noggin is.

Headless Horseman

Hey, Bran. What's going on?

Not much, HH. Are we heading to the Decapitated Dudes meeting later?

Headless Horseman

You betcha.

I hate my siblings.

What about me?

Except you. And Branwen. And Nisien.

Efnisien

So, just me, then.

Yup. You're nothing but trouble.