- Jack reads the newspaper while he eats breakfast. It's a slow news day: some turkeys have gotten loose from their pens, and some honeybees have taken up residence in the post office mail drop box. Fast times in Norvelt, right?
- The best column in the newspaper is This Day In History, written by none other than Miss Volker. Only, Jack notices that the newspaper has made a mistake and listed events from June 18, even though it's really only June 17.
- It's like looking into the future—except the past. Whoa.
- Jack starts worrying about proving to his mother that he did not load the sniper rifle.
- And here's a surprise: Miss Volker isn't actually writing the This Day In History columns, but instead recycling those that she wrote when she was younger.
- Jack heads outside and begins cutting down the too-tall weeds. He sees Mr. Spizz go by on a giant tricycle (yes, a giant tricycle), and learns that he's delivering dinners to some of the town's old folks.
- Yep, Mr. Spizz is a looney.