Identity Quotes in Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

How do you assert your identity when you can't say who you are? One of the last words Grandpa loses is "I," almost as though he's desperately trying to hang on to who he is. When your world's destroyed, who are you now? Grandpa's answer? Nobody.

Oskar doesn't want to be defined by his relationship to his father. He wants to be his own person. However, at this age, most of what he's doing are things he learned from his father. It'll take time for him to grow into his own.

Grandma's husband is still in love with her dead sister, Anna. She has trouble trying to define her own identity apart from "Anna's sister." But she is always more "Anna's sister" than she is "wife" to Grandpa.

Oskar lists about 12 different titles and six things he collects on his little business card. At his age, Oskar's identity is best defined by his hobbies and interests. Obviously, he's still trying to figure himself out. Kids are always trying on lots of identities to see what fits. That's kind of the job of childhood.

This is good advice from Anna to Grandpa that Oskar would benefit from hearing. You can be yourself even if you don't understand yourself 100%. Oskar's always trying to find the answers, but it's okay not to have them, particular if you're young. Your identity will emerge as you grow up.

Ada Black is rich and has a fancy apartment and a maid. Oskar implies that this is unfair—he remembers what his father said about how everyone should have the same amount of stuff. But Ada's not defensive about it. She accepts herself without having to approve of her lifestyle. Oskar doesn't quite get this.

Dr. Fein, Oskar's therapist, could mean a number of things here. Perhaps our personality is a combination of how we perceive ourselves and how others perceive us.

We can only make out part of the conversation between Dr. Fein and Mom, but we're pretty sure this is Mom talking here, and she's defending her son for being himself. Dr. Fein sees him as pretty disturbed and worries about his safety.

As much as Oskar wants to be his own person, he will always remind his Mom and Grandma of his father. That's genetics for you.

This is what it says on Mr. Black's biography card of Oskar. Before Mr. Black meets Oskar, he identifies him as "Son," based on a phone call we now know he received from Oskar's mother. This is Oskar's defining characteristic. We think Oskar would agree—since his father died, his entire experienced is shaped by that fact.