How we cite our quotes: (Chapter.Paragraph)
Quote #1
"Sometimes people who seem good end up being not as good as you might have hoped, you know? What if she had stolen our things?" "She wouldn't." "But what if?" "But she wouldn't." […] she was obviously mad at me, but I didn't know why.
[…] I could tell that she really didn't love me. (1.6-7)
Oskar misinterprets his mother's anger as lack of love. His father's death has left him very sensitized to any signs of detachment on his Mom's part.
Quote #2
She was wearing the bracelet that I made for her, and that made me feel like one hundred dollars. I love making jewelry for her, because it makes her happy, and making her happy is another one of my raisons d'être. (1.9)
You know the phrase "Love is a verb?" Well, despite Oskar's reservations about Mom, he's always doing loving things for her, like making jewelry or protecting her from the phone messages from Dad in his last moments.
Quote #3
"Dad?" "Yeah, buddy?" "Nothing." (1.35)
This exchange between Oskar and his Dad is repeated a few times throughout the novel. Obviously, it's a memory that haunts Oskar. We see that the "nothing" was a missed opportunity to say "I love you."
Quote #4
And maybe you could rate the people you knew by how much you loved them, so if the device in the middle of the ambulance detected the device of the person he loved the most, or the person he loved the most, and the person in the ambulance was really badly hurt, and might even die, the ambulance could flash
GOODBYE! I LOVE YOU! GOODBYE! I LOVE YOU! (3.66)
This is a good example of how the boundaries between grief and love are still pretty porous for Oskar. This invention would make sure that you got to say goodbye to someone you loved before they died—something Oskar never got to do. Later, he makes a list and rates the people he loves. Dad, of course is first on the list.
Quote #5
When I was your age, my grandfather bought me a ruby bracelet. It was too big for me and would slide up and down my arm. […] Its size was supposed to be a symbol of his love. More rubies, more love. But I could not wear it comfortably. I could not wear it at all. So here is the point of everything I have been trying to say. If I were to give a bracelet to you, now, I would measure your wrist twice. (4.29)
This is the final paragraph from Grandma's letter from her own Grandmother. It's a powerful statement of love. Are you truly loving someone if your love doesn't "fit" them? Great-great Grandma seems to think it's not good enough to love someone… you have to love them the way they need to be loved.
Quote #6
One afternoon, I mentioned to Grandma that I was considering starting a stamp collection, and the next afternoon she had three albums for me and—"because I love you so much it hurts me, and because I want your wonderful collection to have a wonderful beginning"—a sheet of stamps of Great American Inventors. (5.57)
Oskar's Grandma is totally devoted to him and wants everything good for him. But her love's also tinged with grief; she knows that you can lose people you love.
Quote #7
Maybe […] if I'd said, "I'm so afraid of losing something I love that I refuse to love anything," maybe that would have made the impossible possible. (10.1)
Grandpa's pretty much confessing to never truly loving Grandma here. He shut himself off from love after losing Anna. If he had told Grandma this right away, well, she probably still would have married him. But maybe he wouldn't have felt like he was living a lie and had to leave.
Quote #8
"The boy covered his can with a lid, removed it from the string, and put her love for him on a shelf in his closet. Of course, he never could open the can, because then he would lose its contents. It was enough just to know it was there." (11.28)
This tale within a tale of Sixth Borough seems to have the opposite moral however. The boy traps love in a can, but he can't experience without losing it. Is love as fragile and finite as this story makes it seem?
Quote #9
They knew I was coming.
Mom had talked to all of them before I had.
Even Mr. Black was part of it. […] she probably told him to go around with me, and keep me company, and keep me safe. (15.49-51)
Oskar finally realizes that his mother has known all along about his journey and was always in the background, protecting him. We'd call that love. He recognizes it, too. At the cemetery, Oskar comes to terms with his father's death to some extent. When he gets back, he gives his Mom permission to move on with her life, maybe even fall in love again. Love wins this round.
Quote #10
And how can you say I love you to someone you love?
Here is the point of everything I have been trying to tell you, Oskar.
It's always necessary.
I love you,
Grandma (16.240-16.244)
The main point of Grandma's long, long letter is to let Oskar know that he should always express the love he feels. You never know when that opportunity will be your last. Of course, she leaves without letting Oskar say goodbye or "I love you" to her, so what does that say?