Don't be ridiculous, Dad. Take your own path.

Don't be too hard on yourself, son. I am sure you've thought through why you don't like Temple. Maybe it's because I loved Torah study so much. Is this a "repudiate the father" thing? Aw, how touching.

I, for one, am not so forgiving. Would it kill you to rock a little God-lovin' in your life?

It's not that I am not fascinated by God—I'm just not interested in God in the way you want me to be, Rabbi. Sorry.

Well, God is not a literary subject or one of your patients. He is the All Powerful Being. Hop on Amazon and order up a German translation of my prayer book. That'll set you to rights.

I am a secular Jew—ain't no changing that. I'm plenty fascinated by Moses and I'll talk about God until I'm blue in the face (which is a long time) but I'm atheist: God does not exist.

I'm starting to get a little frothy over your claims.

Son, maybe if you explained your reasoning, our esteemed Rabbi wouldn't get a bee in his yarmulke.

Okay, fine: people just want God to exist so be can shield them from the pain—kind of like how a child wants mommy to be there at the playground with a band-aid at the ready. Religion just doesn't serve a purpose anymore. It's out of fashion. Let's put on our big boy pants and move on.

You completely fail to spot the occult elements in human consciousness, Sigmund. Get your mystic on.

I'm all for paranormal, but I try to limit my indulgence in it to Halloween and All Saints' Day.