Marriage Quotes in Gone Girl

How we cite our quotes: Chapter.Paragraph

Quote #7

c) Don't press him about his new attitude—know that he will confide in you when the time comes, and in the meantime, shower him with affection so he feels secure and loved, because that's how this marriage thing works. (22.4)

When Nick changes his mood toward Amy and starts showing the first signs of warmth toward her in a year, Amy does what she does best to process the situation: she thinks of it in terms of personality quizzes. This particular answer choice makes it sound like she's trying to reassure herself that the change is permanent, saying that as long as she does her part, he'll eventually explain what's going on. And interestingly enough, C is the correct answer.

Quote #8

I couldn't think of a decent thing I'd done in the past two years. In New York, those first few years of marriage, I'd been desperate to please my wife […] For two years I tried as my old wife slipped away, and I tried so hard—no anger, no arguments, the constant kowtowing, the capitulation, the sitcom-husband version of me […] Each action, each attempt, was met with a rolled eye or a sad little sigh. A you just don't get it sigh. (29.57)

Tanner's assignment for Nick to make a list of nice, romantic things he's done for Amy ultimately leads him to a pretty disturbing conclusion: he's totally failing in the hubby department. While Amy's definitely been doing her part to tank their relationship and bears some responsibility here, Nick hasn't done the greatest job of making her feel special. Maybe Flynn's trying to say here that it takes two people to make a marriage work, but it also takes two people to wreck it.

Quote #9

Love should require both partners to be their very best at all times. Unconditional love is an undisciplined love, and as we have all seen, undisciplined love is disastrous […] [Nick] is learning to love me unconditionally, under all my conditions. (64.1, 3)

It's the end of the book—the part where the characters are supposed to have learned some kind of lesson from the previous events and become better people. Amy wants to believe this has happened to her, but it's pretty clear that her logic here is way off. She's redefined "unconditional love" in the way only Amazing Amy can: by placing herself and her needs at the center and designing the conditions herself.