Son, I made your career. Without me, who'd you gripe about?

Hegster, you really wanna talk about lineage?

Dude—what do you want? I've always looked up to you!

I'm important. I do everything. I do all the things.

You all are my hell. My nausea. My sadness.

I can't help it, you're my fav speculative philosopher. You're The Speculative Philosopher, man.

That's not even a thing! Stop making up nicknames for me.

Ummm. You might want to ignore my Tumblr for a few days.

Omigod, yeah. Yeah, totally. Uh. Just need to check with the Mrs.

Whatever.

Cool, then I'm in. Omigod, this is gonna be epic.

I can't believe you're actually going.

What? You said it was fine.

Ugh. Nevermind.

Girl, at least he married you.

You're still bent out of shape over that?

Hel-lo! You abandoned me and our son.

He's fine.

I grew up in an orphanage. You're both pretty bad parents, when it comes down to it.

Suck it up, Kid.