In Which a United States Senator Makes Claims of Poverty
- Nixon acknowledges that this could pretty much all be a load of doggie doo, and he could have received huge cash sums from donors. He poses the rhetorical question of "Why should we believe you anyway?" To which he responds with the nuclear option of "I guess I'll just reveal every aspect of my life's finances."
- He starts with his childhood, which immediately lets you know that this is going to be a very, very long story.
- He tells us how he worked in the family grocery store to pay his way through college and law school.
- Nixon describes his marriage to Pat and how they were poor but happy, and you can practically hear the "awwww" from millions of 1950s family-values Americans. He practiced law and she was a teacher. They scrimped and saved.
- He then describes his adventures in the military during World War II, and humbly downplays any acts of bravery or battle scars he may or may not have as a result of being in the vicinity where bombs fell. He also details his earnings as a result of his service.
- When he came out of the service, all they had in savings was $10,000, and it was all in government savings bonds.
- Just $10,000? Let's see, that's…$130,000+ today.
- He outlines exactly what he's made since he entered politics: his salary as a congressman and Senator, income from speaking engagements, and a small amount from estates that were in his law practice before he left it. They only inherited a little bit of money from their parents.
- What do they have to show for all this? He thinks people will be surprised to hear how little it is, considering how he's a senator and all.
- Well, they own two homes, one in Washington, D.C. and one in Whittier, CA. They've got a 1950 Oldsmobile.
- They don't own a share of any business, and don't own stocks, either.
- And here's something that really is surprising: he only has $4,000 in life insurance. What would Suze Orman say about that?
- Well, he wouldn't be asking Suze whether he can afford his wife's mink coat, because she doesn't own one. In describing Pat's wardrobe, he creates the iconic phrase "respectable Republican cloth coat" (129).
- He tells her she'd look good in anything.
- Then we get to the more shameful part: what the Nixons owe. Now that $10,000 in savings doesn't sound like so much after all.
- Nixon describes some $38,000 of debt, some with interest, most of which is mortgage debt on his two houses. He also borrowed a few thousand bucks from his hardworking parents, which he's paying back with 4% interest. He owes some money to a bank, and took a loan against his small life insurance policy.
- Finally, we have the one political contribution Nixon admits that he accepted: Checkers the puppy.
- Cue more "awwww."
- Checkers was an unexpected gift from a supporter who'd heard him mention that his kids always wanted a dog. Little Tricia Nixon, age six, loves that dog, and he's not giving him back no matter what people say.
- Nixon tells the American people how hard it was for him to come before him and bare his financial life as he's just done. But it was important.
- Finally, Nixon makes some remarks about how elective office shouldn't just be for the rich. Not that there's anything wrong with his opponent's vast wealth, of course, more power to him, but hardworking and poor men like himself should also get a shot at running the country, too.