A Wedding
- Saleem marries Parvati.
- Whoa! You're probably thinking. I thought he said he couldn't get married. Yeah, Padma's thinking that too.
- Before telling us what happened, Saleem goes on and on about the influence of women in his life. It's a nice refresher.
- Fast fact about how they got married: it involves Shiva.
- At the end of the first Indo Pakistani war, Shiva was a war hero. He went to fancy parties, and hobnobbed with the best of them.
- He was also a ladies man, and went around sleeping with anyone who asked. A lot of people asked. So he left behind children. Once women became pregnant, though, he was no longer interested.
- But one day he crosses the wrong woman. Roshanara Shetty gets back at him by telling him that all the ladies are really making fun of him. This breaks down his self-confidence. Then it's time for the second Indo Pakistani war.
- Then one day, for no reason, he finds himself in the middle of the ghetto of magicians. It was all part of Parvati's plan.
- She seduces Shiva, gets pregnant, and gets him to get rid of her. She returns to the slums with a huge belly. Picture Singh has the answer to her disgrace, and Saleem's alleged impotence. They should get married!
- Parvati changes her name to Laylah and converts to Islam. The wedding is beautiful.
- Now it's time for Parvati–Laylah Sinai to have her son. The labor lasts eight–teen–freaking–days! The baby doesn't come out until a state of emergency is declared in India.
- He has huge ears and a belly button that sticks out, and his name is Aadam Sinai.
- At the end of the chapter, Saleem reveals to us that Indira Gandhi is the Widow. Oh snap.