Noon.

What? Who's talking to me?

What? Who are you?

Where'd you come from?

You came from me. I'm the Nun. You called my name.

No, we didn't. I said it was noon.

Yes.

Huh?

No. NOON! N-o-o-n, dude.

LOL sorry!

They're not even spelled the same way! Come on.

Um… but they're pronounced the same way. And people misspell my name all. the. time. So I saw noon and figured you might be calling my name.

I just should've said twelve.

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Yes, my dear, beautiful Hathor? How can I help you?

Water heaters.

What?

I want water heaters. I'm sick of washing my hair in the Nile. It's freezing this time of year! And waiting for my priestesses to boil water for me takes forever. Do you have any idea what all that cold water is doing to my hair?

Water heaters, huh?

Some goddesses from the future were telling me about them. All I need is a water heater, then I can take a nice warm bath and wash my hair and have it come out right. Please? Pretty please?

I'll think about it.

They can put it in at my sacred lake at Dendera! You're the best!

Yes, yes, get on with it?

Sorry. I figured since you were the first god, you might like the pomp and circumstance.

I'm tired of it, really.

Oh? Me too. Good. Then I'll just get down to business.

Thanks. What's up?

I heard you're giving Hathor a water heater.

Did you?

I want one too.

For your hair?

ROFLMAO no! I take blood baths. They're already warm.

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Then whatever do you need a water heater for?

Well, in the afterlife, Anubis put me in charge of punishing demons and bad people, right?

Yes?

It takes a lot of time to drag those buckets of oil and water down to the Lake of Flames. If we had a water heater in the torture room, though…

I see.

And then we could wash the towels faster. They get pretty nasty, with all that blood.

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But water heaters haven't been invented yet.

You invented everything. You can't speed that up?

You have a point.

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Don't tell me you want a water heater, too.

A water heater? What would I do with that in the middle of the desert?

Oh, thank Me. I was going to scream if one more god asked me for a water heater.

I don't want to know, do I?

No. What can I do for you, Son of Nut?

People are calling me a god of chaos.

And you are. So?

They say it like it's a bad thing!

Oh?

And you're a god of chaos, too, but nobody thinks you're bad.

Well, some people do. The Greeks do.

The Greeks! That's them. They started calling me Typhon. I don't even know who that is really, but I asked around, and he's a really evil dude from Tartarus.

I thought you enjoyed humans hating and fearing you.

I do. But sometimes it's nice to not be hated before you walk in the door.

I'll have a talk with their philosophers.

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Wait a minute. 101%?

Yes.

But that's not even possible.

Of course it is. Nothing is deeper than me.

But I invented numbers. There's no such thing as 101 percent.

Want to find out how deep I am? I could show you.

Um...