Osiris's Conversations

Osiris's Conversations

Wall

has set his status to Dead.

likes this.

How could you?

Where's the dislike button?

Dad, they're trying to keep me from being king.

You don't deserve to be king, you little brat.

See how he picks on me?

Ra

Grow up, Horus.

likes this.

Why are we even arguing about this? Horus is Osiris' son and heir. Isn't that right, honey?

Neith

I don't know why Osiris isn't answering, but if you don't make Horus king, I'm going to punish all of you.

Whoa, how did I miss this? Make Horus king or I'll send all the dead people to haunt your houses.

likes this.

Do you think the mortal, Neferhotep, should be admitted to the afterlife? Yes or no?

Neferhotep

Wait a minute! Isn't this supposed to happen in the Hall of Two Truths? In person? With the Feather of Ma'at and Anubis putting my heart on the scales?

Lots of people dying lately. Ma'at isn't cheap, and I can't afford to pay Anubis any more overtime this week. Figured this would work just as well as weighing your heart against the feather.

Neferhotep

Oh.

Better hope my friends like you, buddy!

I've been thinking about writing a book.

Oh, that'll keep you busy! About what?

Zombies.

likes this.

Ugh. Don't you ever get tired of dead things?

Not really.

Hey beautiful, come to my house.

likes this.

Hey! What are you doing chatting up my husband?

Hey! What are you doing chatting up her husband?

I asked her first.

Best Non-Bread Machine Recipes 

likes this.

likes this.

likes this.

<3 <3 <3 bread! I love bread, especially with a nice dinner!

Trying some new recipes, honey?

Once my wheat rises, this could be awesome. Wish you could come for dinner.

I'll be right over.

Why, you…

Not my fault you're a goddess of life. I'm sure Osiris will let me bring some bread for you.

Sweetheart, it's just dinner. I promise I'll send some bread home with your sister.

likes this.

posted an event: Beer Brewing.

likes this.

Pan

likes this.

Serapis! I just figured out this is you! Are we still invited?

Sure thing, bro! Need all the help I can get to drink all this beer I'm gonna make.

All right! I'll bring the crew.

Pan

This is going to rock! Should I bring the girls?

Did you get the memo about the meeting?

What meeting?

The one where we're deciding if your son gets to be king. Don't you ever read your email?

Didn't get it.

But I sent it last month.

Gotta upgrade my Internet, man. Takes forever for them to get here. No high-speed plans in the afterlife.

Forgot about that. Maybe I should mail you a phone?

LOL! You think the Internet is slow?

posted a photo.

likes this.

Hey honey, what do you think of my new hat?

Looking good as usual! I have the hottest wife ever.

likes this.

That looks familiar. Did you just take that out of my wardrobe?

Um, maybe?

. . .

It's all right, dear, you needed a new one anyway. And it does look pretty good on her.

That's what you say now. Next she'll be borrowing my clothes and my temples.

It's not like anybody is ever going to mistake me for you.

Greeks

Wait, you're not Aphrodite?

Romans

Wait, you're not both the same goddess?

So I hear you moved in next door. Welcome to the land of the dead.

Hi…Do I know you?

Not yet, but we're neighbors. Hope my dog's not keeping you up at night. He's got three heads, and he's kinda hard to shut up.

Your dog has three heads? Really?

Yeah, he's pretty scary-looking, but he's just a puppy when it comes down to it.

Sounds like my son, Anubis.

likes this.

Come on! I only have one head.