Case File: Everyone in the Whole Entire World vs. Pandora
Police Reports
Case Description: Complainants (Everyone in the Whole Entire World) accuse Defendant (Pandora) of causing every bad thing that ever happened. Unable to resist her curiosity, Pandora opened the jar, letting evil and suffering out into the formerly perfect world. People are still majorly angry.
Case Status: Case dismissed. Zeus totally set Pandora up, right? He had her created and gave her the jar knowing exactly what she'd do. When you think about it, every bad thing that ever happened is all Zeus's fault.
Addendum: Our offices were recently obliterated by lightning, which has made us seriously reconsider our former remarks about Zeus. We would like to issue a formal apology. All hail the cloud-gatherer.