- "No, no,' says the Host, "That would be Christ's curse!
- Give me a break! You'd make me kiss your old pants and swear they were a saintly relic, even if they were smeared with stains from your butt.
- By the cross Saint Helen found, I'd rather have your balls in my hand than relics in a reliquary.
- Let's cut them off. I'll help you carry them. We'll enshrine them in a hog's turd."
- The Pardoner is so angry he's speechless for once.
- "Now," says the Host, "I refuse to deal with you or any other angry man, any longer."
- But when the Knight sees how everyone laughs, he steps up.
- That's enough," he says, "No more of this carrying on.
- Sir Pardoner, be happy and cheerful. And you, Sir Host, kiss the Pardoner.
- And Pardoner, come back and let's enjoy ourselves like we did before."
- So the two kiss, and ride off on their way.