Paris's Conversations

Paris's Conversations

Wall

Wishing I had a few more friends on this thing.

Respectfully brother, it's your own fault.

It's not like I meant to cause the downfall of my city and the deaths of thousands of people.

It all seemed easily preventable to me.

Yo, did you see what Helen looked like? Did you really see?

You're hopeless.

Your brother is right. You are a miserable turd-monkey.

Didn't say that. You stay out of this.

Or what? You'll fight his battles for him again?

Hey, I faced you. I can't help that Aphrodite took me away before we could finish.

I didn't see you running back out there. Turd-monkey.

What exactly is a turd-monkey?

You.

So, here's a question: why are we friends on here?

Everybody tune in tonight to Springtime in Paris, my new love advice show on S101!

Can't wait! :)

Mom! He totally stole my idea. You should be supporting my love advice show on the radio.

Hey, I've got enough love to go around.

Oenone

So I guess we're not on for dinner?

Forgot! Sorry!

Oenone

What happened? You run into somebody prettier than me... again?

It's totally over with Helen and me. I thought we were going to try and work past all this.

Oenone

Yeah, well showing up for dinner would be a start.

You know I get the whole bitter jilted ex-wife thing. I did desert you and all, but don't I have a right to be mad at you—at least a little bit?

Oenone

No.

You let me die a horrible, agonizingly painful death. You could've healed me, and you didn't!

Oenone

WHICH I FELT TERRIBLE ABOUT! I THREW MYSELF ON YOUR FUNERAL PYRE, AND NOW YOU CAN'T EVEN SHOW UP TO EAT SOME STUPID HUMMUS WITH ME WHEN YOU SAID YOU WOULD!!!

That's what you get for marrying a turd-monkey.