How we cite our quotes: (Chapter.Paragraph)
Quote #1
"Wow. You really scared me, Dad." I laughed with relief. "I know that. Principal Long told us it would be very competitive. I know it's just an audition, but who knows?" (1.25)
When Ji-li's dad says she shouldn't apply for the dance troupe, she's confused and scared. She figures her dad would only say this if he knew something serious that she doesn't—and it turns out that her fears aren't totally unjustified. Her family has more skeletons in the closet than she realizes.
Quote #2
None of the other three students passed the audition, but this did not make me feel better. It had not been just an audition for me. I was afraid that the rest of my life would not be what I had imagined. (1.78)
Check out how Ji-li describes the heartache she feels after not getting the dance troupe position. It's not just about becoming a performer, she's bummed she doesn't know what the rest of her life will look like now. Before you go calling Ji-li dramatic, consider this: She's worried that things won't turn out the way she's always planned.
Quote #3
I was bored, but I never stopped being frightened. I worried about Dad, I worried about Grandma. I worried about An Yi's mother, too. (9.3)
Poor Ji-li is scared pretty much all the time. Not only is she worried about what might happen at school, she also frets over her family. It's clear she cares a lot about her brood, which is why she's so frightened for them all the time.
Quote #4
"I'm really afraid, Ji-li." An Yi looked straight into my eyes. "If Mom is a little late coming back from school, we're so worried. Dad paces up and down, and I just can't do anything. Sometimes Dad can't stand it anymore, and he goes to school to meet her. I'm so scared. I don't know what'll happen next. Ji-li, sometimes I'm really afraid to go home." The expression in her eyes made me want to cry. (9.78)
An Yi has a lot to worry about. Since her mom is a teacher, she's getting the worst of the struggle meetings and Red Guards' special punishments. Ji-li can tell that her friend is shaken to the core. Even more scary? An Yi's mom was an award winning teacher—in other words, Ji-li is sure she's not out to hurt anybody. And yet she's still a target.
Quote #5
I had wanted to give up. I had almost stopped trying to be brave, to be an educable child. I saw another part of myself, a part full of fear that I had to struggle against. I would not allow myself to stop trying to follow Chairman Mao. (12.45)
Ji-li goes from telling us she's scared early on to describing herself through the fear. It's a big part of her now. She's so upset by everything that is happening during the Cultural Revolution that she thinks of herself as someone full of fear. This doesn't stop her from supporting the cause, though.
Quote #6
I told myself again and again. I repeated Chairman Mao's quotation, "Be resolute, fear no sacrifice, and surmount every difficulty to win victory." (15.43)
According to Mao, fear is a weakness to be promptly pushed through. Fear is directly targeted by his propaganda, and people are told to deny their fear in favor of supporting him.
Quote #7
I heard Mom go to bed. Lying in the darkness with my eyes open, I could not stop imagining all the horrors that could result from this letter. I was scared, and I did not know what to do. (16.9)
Even though she knows the letter is bad news, Ji-li isn't sure what to do about it—it's a tough pill to swallow, but it's clear that she's out of good options. If she does nothing, she lives in fear, but if she fesses up about the letter, she's worried what will happen to her family. Like we said, fear all around.
Quote #8
The worry of tomorrow haunted me constantly. I worried that Grandma would be sent to the countryside, as other landlords had been, and would be punished by the farmers there. I worried that Mom would be detained for attempting to help Dad. I worried that Dad would be beaten to death for his stubbornness. I worried that Ji-yong's temper would get him in trouble, and that Ji-yun would be so frightened that she would never laugh again. Worst of all, I worried that by not hiding the letter well enough, I had ruined our lives forever. (17.7)
Poor Ji-li can't catch a break. As she talks about her fears, it becomes clear that she's scared for everyone she loves. Check out the word "haunted." It's as though she's being followed around by her fear, ghost style. No matter what she does, Ji-li can't shake the looming fear that she feels.
Quote #9
I had promised to take care of my family, and I would renew that promise every day. I could not give up or withdraw, no matter how hard life became. I would hide my tears and my fear for Mom and Grandma's sake. (17.17)
Strong and forthright, Ji-li knows she can't be broken by fear. We love what she says about hiding away her fears for her family. It doesn't matter whether she's scared or not—all that matters is that she doesn't let her fears dictate how she acts. Otherwise, she's no longer in control.
Quote #10
They had no fear of being criticized by their bosses or arrested by the government for expressing themselves, even if they criticized or mocked the president. (E.18)
Talking about Americans, Ji-li tells us just how free and open they are about everything. It's a good comparison for consider alongside Ji-li's depiction of China during the Cultural Revolution.