How we cite our quotes: Line
Quote #1
That house is a Thinkery for clever souls. / Some gentlemen live there who argue that the sky / is a casserole-cover—and make us all believe it— / and that it covers us all, and we're charcoal briquets. / These people train you, if you pay them money, to win any argument, whether it's right or wrong. (94-98)
Philosophers—or at least, philosophers like Socrates—get a pretty bad rap in this play. As you can see here, Strepsiades (who's actually a fan of what the Thinkery can do) portrays their ideas as ridiculous. The sky as "casserole-cover"? Funny, but not exactly the best advertisement for their approach and philosophy.
Quote #2
I'm told they have both kinds of argument: / the Better, whatever that is, and the Worse. / And one of these Arguments, the worse, I'm told, / can argue even an unjust case and win! / So if you could learn this Worse Argument for me, / then all these debts I owe on your account / I wouldn't have to pay, not even a penny! (112-118)
Strepsiades only gets interested in philosophy when he thinks it can get him out of his debts. Here, he's explaining his newfound appreciation for the topic to his son (the one who racked up all those debts).
Quote #3
And I won't take this setback lying down. / I'll say a little prayer and go myself / to the Thinkery to get an education. / But how's an old man like me, forgetful and dense, / to learn precise, hair-splitting arguments? (126-130)
When Pheidippides isn't willing to go learn from the Thinkery (he supposedly thinks they are charlatans), Strepsiades has to enroll.
Quote #4
I'll tell you, then. But these are holy secrets. This morning Socrates asked Chaerephon / how many of its own feet a flea can jump / A flea had bitten Chaerephon on the eyebrow / and then jumped off and landed on Socrates' head. (143-146)
Aristophanes portrays Socrates's ideas and methods as pretty ridiculous—like, does anyone really care how far a flea can jump in flea feet? That's pretty useless knowledge, right? Well, that's Aristophanes's point, it seems—Socrates and his philosophy don't really have a lot of utility.
Quote #5
PUPIL: But the other day he lost a great idea because of a lizard.
STREPSIADES: Really? Please tell me how.
PUPIL: He was studying the tracks of the lunar orbit / and its revolutions, and as he skyward gaped, / from the roof in darkness a lizard shat on him. (167-174)
The portrayal of Socrates gets even less serious and reverent here. Socrates was trying to do some astronomy, but apparently a lizard went poo on his head (and likely face) as he was staring upward. The whole image doesn't exactly scream "great philosopher" to us.
Quote #6
Open up the Thinkery, and make it quick; / I want to see Socrates as soon as possible. / I yearn to learn. Come on now, open up! / Good God, what kind of creatures have we here? (181-184)
Strepsiades arrives at the Thinkery raring to learn from Socrates. As he's demanding that the pupil open things up, he comes across some men staring at the ground with their butts in the air. If you thought Socrates's school couldn't look any more ridiculous… well, you will probably change your mind when you learn that these folks (according to the pupil) have their butts in the air so that particular part of their anatomies can learn astronomy.
Quote #7
Never / could I make correct celestial discoveries / except by thus suspending my mind, and mixing / my subtle head with the air it's kindred with. / If down below I contemplate what's up, / I'd never find aught; for the earth by natural force / draws unto itself the quickening moisture of thought. / The very same process is observable in lettuce. (228-234)
When Strepsiades finally meets Socrates, he finds the maestro hanging in the air in a basket. Apparently, Socrates thinks better while suspended in the air; he says that the earth drains out his thoughts like moisture, whereas his head and thoughts become "kindred with" the air in the sky when he's elevated. Hmm, comparing your thoughts to water vapor doesn't exactly make the best case for your school of thought, Socky.
Quote #8
Just to hear their voices makes my very soul take wing and fly, / makes me long to chop some logic, blow some elocutive smoke, / bust big maxims with little maxims, counterpoint an argument! / Time to see the ladies close up; I'm ready now, if now's the time! (319-322)
When Strepsiades first hears the Clouds, he gets super excited about learning the Thinkery's lessons. We'd dig the enthusiasm for learning and philosophy, if only he were, you know, doing it for anything but dishonest reasons.
Quote #9
What a moron! You're a throwback, truly a neanderthal. / Punish perjurers? Then how come Simon isn't lightning-struck? / Or Cleonymus, or Theorus? They're as perjured as can be! / No, instead he usually zaps his very own temple at Sunion, / his own great oak-trees too. What for? The oak-trees can't be perjurers! (398-402)
During one of their many lessons, Socrates goes after Strepsiades for failing to grasp his lessons and philosophy. So, he calls him names. Not a very teacherly thing to do, if you ask us.
Quote #10
Money's no object; teach him, he's a natural, / Why, when he was just a little tyke this high, / he could build sand-castles, carve a little boat, / he'd put together cars from balsawood / and frogs from lemonpeels, as pretty as you please! / Just see that he learns that pair of Arguments, / the Better, whatever that is, and the Worse, / the one that makes the weaker case the stronger. / Or, if not both, at the very least the Worse. (877-885)
Just in case anyone was unclear on this point, Strepsiades makes totally clear here that he doesn't really give a hoot about his son learning philosophy for any other reason than to get his debts forgiven or forgotten. Whatever happened to learning for the sake of learning?