To the Lighthouse Marriage Quotes

How we cite our quotes: Citations follow this format: (Part.Chapter.Paragraph)

Quote #4

And, touching his hair with her lips, she thought, he will never be so happy again, but stopped herself, remembering how it angered her husband that she should say that. Still, it was true. (1.10.12)

Mrs. Ramsay has so completely internalized her husband’s opinions that she stops herself when she has a thought contrary to his beliefs. It’s as if her marriage to him has caused her to forsake a part of herself in an attempt to be in harmony with her husband. Can you say, codependence?

Quote #5

They will be perfectly happy. And here she was, she reflected, feeling life rather sinister again, making Minta marry Paul Rayley; because whatever she might feel about her own transaction, she had had experiences which need not happen to every one (she did not name them to herself); she was driven on, too quickly she knew, almost as if it were an escape for her too, to say that people must marry; people must have children.

Was she wrong in this, she asked herself, reviewing her conduct for the past week or two, and wondering if she had indeed put any pressure upon Minta, who was only twenty-four, to make up her mind. She was uneasy. Had she not laughed about it? Was she not forgetting again how strongly she influenced people? Marriage needed—oh, all sorts of qualities (the bill for the greenhouse would be fifty pounds); one—she need not name it—that was essential; the thing she had with her husband. Had they that? (1.10.12 – 1.10.13)

Mrs. Ramsay is having a moment of guilt about pressuring Paul and Minta to get hitched. She remembers that marriage is not an institution to be entered into lightly.

Quote #6

It annoyed her, this phrase-making, and she said to him, in a matter-of-fact way, that it was a perfectly lovely evening. And what was he groaning about, she asked, half laughing, half complaining, for she guessed what he was thinking—he would have written better books if he had not married.

He was not complaining, he said. She knew that he did not complain. She knew that he had nothing whatever to complain of. And he seized her hand and raised it to his lips and kissed it with an intensity that brought the tears to her eyes, and quickly he dropped it. (1.12.7 – 1.12.8)

There is a large tension between Mr. Ramsay’s intellectual accomplishments and his domestic bliss.