No, a helicopter parent is not the proud owner of a shiny new Blackhawk—though that would be an applicable and baller name.

We're talking about the parent who hovers over their kid's every minute action. Yeah, everyone knows that parent. Other terms? "Bulldoze parenting" and "lawnmower parenting." You get the picture: heavy machinery in charge of tiny kids.

And it ain't pretty.

 

If you feel like you're looking in the mirror, now might be the time to back away slowly.

As much as we want to protect our babies from every scratch, heartache, and laundry day that life may hand them, experts suggest that rescuing children and teens from every mistake or uncomfortable (stressful, emotional, boring, etc.) situation can be detrimental to development. " Helicoptered" children are more likely to grow up to be irresponsible, anxious adults with an unhealthy sense of entitlement. That or the disconcerting sense that they are meant to be giant flying machines.

Either way, not good.

Helicopter Parent Examples:

• Completing school projects for (not with) the student to ensure good grades. Baking soda and vinegar volcano, anyone?
• Withholding opportunities for independence. For example, walking home from the bus stop alone or playing out front with friends.
• Choosing a teen's classes in high school. "Mom! I don't want to take advanced ceramics!"
• Intervening in tense social situations between friends. If they weren't friends then, they won't be now.
• Taking care of all household chores that your teen is capable of doing.
• That movie has smooching in it? Stay home and watch "Teletubbies!"

Admittedly, it's difficult to not worry about our kids. The media is filled with terrifying "What If's" that haunt every parent everywhere. With that on the brain, it's a wonder that children aren't locked in a room and protected until their 18th birthdays the world 'round. But it doesn't work like that because they would be straight up weirdos.

The best you can do is become an involved parent, which is developmentally healthier for the child. Involved parents are engaged in their children's lives in a way that grows autonomy and competence. You know, the things we like to see in functioning adults who haven't been locked in their rooms all their lives.

Guiding. Accepting. Training. This is what an involved parent is made of. Consider yourself a coach, but without goofy hat hair.

Involved Parent Examples:

• Allowing students to make mistakes, but coming alongside with support. "You put too much baking soda in that volcano? How 'bout you try a different measurement?"
• Use common sense based on age and maturity to allow for the right degree of independence.
• Allow your teen to work through his or her romantic and social situations. No, seriously.

If you want your son or daughter to include you in his or her struggles in the future, do not bulldoze situations into a fine paste.

Basically, in everything:

• Support your child, love your child, but do not take over. Or compare yourself to heavy machinery.