The Simpsons Quotes

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Source: The Simpsons

Speaker: Homer Simpson

Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is: never try.

Context

This line is spoken by Homer Simpson (voiced by Dan Castellaneta) in an episode of The Simpsons, written by Jace Richdale (1989- ).

Mr. Burns is the Ebenezer Scrooge of The Simpsons, except he controls nuclear power and not stacks of coins. And, like Scrooge, he doesn't have an heir to his fortune, so he decides to choose one child from Springfield to be his heir. Bart and Lisa Simpson fail miserably at their inheritance "audition," and to add insult to injury, Bart gets kicked in the butt by a metal boot.

Marge wants Homer to cheer up Bart and Lisa after their failure, but he gives them the opposite of good advice because he is a yellow sitcom dad. However, Bart actually ends up succeeding at becoming Mr. Burns' heir because the business owner sees a little bit of his own evil self when Bart trashes his mansion.

And for a while, Bart enjoys doing whatever he wants while living with Mr. Burns, including firing nuclear plant employees. But when Burns wants him to fire Homer, Bart snaps and runs back to his family, bad advice and all.

Where you've heard it

You've heard this quote when your friends are tired of giving you clichéd Oprah-style advice and just want to joke around. Laughter is usually better for cheering you up than banal quotes from self-help books anyway.

Additional Notable References:

  • This quote is so popular and influential that it got added to the Oxford Dictionary of Modern Quotations with a couple other lines from the show. 
  • This quote is a shoo-in for any list of Homer Simpson's best parenting quotes.

Pretentious Factor

If you were to drop this quote at a dinner party, would you get an in-unison "awww" or would everyone roll their eyes and never invite you back? Here it is, on a scale of 1-10.

Homer Simpson's advice is terrible, but Mr. Burns is the pretentious one with the fancy butler.