How It All Goes Down
- Today, Lena can't meet Alex because her future husband-to-be Brian Scharff if coming over for dinner. Yikes. Lena's only seventeen, you know. Those Desperate Housewives were in their 30s and 40s by the time they got themselves into situations like this.
- Lena spends a few pages telling us how repulsive Brian Scharff is. He's "impressively short, for a guy" (19.61), thin, is the captain of the fencing team (which is the pinnacle of loser-dom to Lena), and has allergies and asthma. That jerk! How dare he think he's good enough for Lena?
- Then Lena spends a few more pages worrying about Alex and talking about how disgusting Brian Scharff is for even existing.
- When she comes back from the kitchen with a drink of water for Brian, she hears him say to her aunt, "[Lena's] not as pretty as in the pictures" (19.76).
- Lena flips out and tries not to cry because this failed excuse for a man thinks she's not as pretty as a picture of her he saw.
- She goes outside to have a moment. Brian follows her and apologizes and tries to tell her that he understands what she's going through.
- Saint Lena "let[s] him hold [her] hand an extra few seconds" (19.113).
- Some creepazoid shows up and starts staring at them while they're holding hands. Brian lets the dude know that it's okay, because they're paired to be married in a few years and the guy leaves.
- But it wasn't just any guy; it was Alex.