Still Lives (Sandi)
- Doña Charito and her husband Don José are both artists. They met at the Prado, in Spain. Don José married Doña Charito and brought his German wife back to the Island to live in a storybook cottage that everyone calls the Hansel and Gretel house.
- Sandi gets all the cousins roped into weekly art lessons with Doña Charito. Here's how it happened:
- After the kids got a bunch of crayons as a present, the adults discovered one of the children had some mad drawing skillz.
- Turns out it was Sandi. Her drawings are so realistic, they seem to have magical powers. She draws a picture of the maid's son, and he gets sick. She destroys the picture, and he gets better.
- She's forced to erase some very artistic cats that she drew on the walls of the house, and the pantry is overrun with mice.
- So the parents decide to get this kid some art lessons with the famous Doña Charito. And they might as well send all the girl cousins, while they're at it.
- Doña Charito agrees to do this, because her husband hasn't been earning any money. He's supposed to be working on some statues for the National Cathedral, but no one's heard from him.
- When Sandi and the cousins arrive at the Hansel and Gretel house, Doña Charito makes them wait around forever. When the lesson finally starts, she gives them the most boring lecture ever given since the dawn of time, about how to hold the paintbrush.
- Sandi can't take it anymore. Her creative energy cannot be restrained! She must draw a cat!
- Doña Charito catches Sandi disobeying her orders to sit still until she dies of boredom. Sandi gets kicked out of class.
- So she goes exploring.
- In the back yard, Sandi finds a curious shed. From the shed, Sandi can hear a man shouting and cursing. Plus, she can hear an intriguing "tap-tap-tapping" sound.
- Sandi climbs on a stump and looks in the window. Inside, she sees a whole bunch of half-formed sculptures.
- The one in the middle of the floor looks like an unfinished Virgin Mary. She doesn't have a face yet.
- And then Sandi sees the sculptor. He's wearing a leather halter, and nothing else. And he has a really big erection.
- He gets on top of the Virgin and holds his chisel over her blank face, getting ready to "come down on her" (5.3.44). Yes, that is supposed to sound dirty.
- Sandi gets scared for the Virgin and cries, Look out! He's about to chisel your face! Or something like that.
- The crazy naked artist dude lunges for Sandi! She freaks, leaps off the stump, and falls on the ground. Crack! That was her arm.
- The crazy sculptor leers at her from the window. He must be Don José.
- Sandi screams and the whole art class comes running. She never thought she'd be so happy to see Doña Charito!
- Sandi has to go to the hospital to get a cast. Her arm heals poorly and has to be re-broken.
- All in all, she has to wear a cast for about a year. When it comes off, Sandi has lost her mystical drawing powers.
- One more thing: that Christmas Eve, the whole family goes to the National Cathedral for the nativity pageant. The new creche is finally here! (About time, Don José.)
- When Sandi finally gets a glimpse of the Virgin Mary, she does a double take—the statue has her face.