The Princess Bride Chapter 7 Summary

The Wedding

• Inigo and Fezzik go charging into the Zoo of Death, except they don't really know it's a Zoo of Death they're getting into.
• They move through the first level and see all kinds of cages with deadly animals in them, from snakes to lions, until they eventually reach a sign that says "To Level Two" and they head down some more stairs. Luckily, all the animals on Level Two are also in cages. They see another sign and head down to Level Three.
• This time, though, they get caught by a giant snake as they're heading down the stairs. But Fezzik is able to muster the strength to break its hold and beats the snake against the wall until it's dead.
• Next thing you know, they're heading down to Level Four. And yes, this whole thing is beginning to seem like a video game.
• Here, they're attacked by bats, and this time it's Inigo's turn to shine as he uses his sword to kill all the bats while Fezzik trembles with fear.
• When they're through this level, they head down to Level Five, which we already know is where Westley's body is being kept. Little do the men know, though, that the most poisonous spider in the world is waiting on the doorknob of the last door they need to open. But we get a total anticlimax here. Inigo and Fezzik are so concerned with getting to Westley that they smash this last door open, the spider falls to the ground, and Inigo squashes it with his boot. Oh well.
• They both flip out when they find Westley lying dead. Inigo screams and says that he can't accept it. After he calms down, he asks Fezzik whether he has any money on him. He claims that he hopes they have enough to buy a miracle, though we don't really know what this means yet.
• Next thing you know, Inigo and Fezzik are knocking on the door of a guy named Max. Turns out that this guy is actually named Miracle Max and that he's an old-timey witch doctor that people from Florin call a "Miracle Man." It looks like Inigo and Fezzik have a plan for bringing Westley back from the dead.
• At first, Miracle Max says he isn't interested, but when he finds out that Inigo and Fezzik want Westley alive so they can ruin Humperdinck's wedding, Max agrees to help. It seems that he used to be the official miracle man of the Florin court, but he got fired, so now he just wants to make Humperdinck as miserable as possible.
• Once he diagnoses how dead Westley is, though, Max decides that the best he can do is restore a little bit of life. In other words, Westley will barely be able to walk by nightfall, which means that Inigo and Fezzik will practically have to carry him to Humperdinck's castle.
• Goldman steps back in and says that he has cut the next twenty pages of the original Morgenstern The Princess Bride.
• When we check back in, Max has made a giant golf ball-sized pill that they need to shove down Westley's throat to bring him back to life.
• Meanwhile, Prince Humperdinck is talking to Yellin again and saying he's certain that men from Guilder will break into Florin on this very night and murder Buttercup after their wedding. Yellin insists that every possible passage into the castle has been sealed off. But wait, then how are Inigo, Fezzik, and Westley going to get inside?
• Finally, Yellin becomes so fed up with Humperdinck's arguments that he resigns as head of security. Humperdinck has no choice but to tell Yellin that he plans to murder Buttercup himself. In exchange for Yellin's loyalty, Humperdinck offers to put him in charge of all Guilder once the coming war is over.
• Humperdinck sends for the albino who lives down in Level Five of the Zoo of Death. But the guy is nowhere to be found, which makes Humperdinck suspect that something is up.
• Meanwhile, we look in on Miracle Max, who just now realizes that his pill is only going to give Westley forty minutes of life. Inigo and Fezzik, though, think that they've got a full hour before the pill runs out.
• Inigo and Fezzik reach the main gates of the castle, which are all sealed off. Besides, there are more men guarding the entrances than Inigo and Fezzik can handle on their own. It's around this time that Westley comes back from the dead and wakes up. Unfortunately, he can't really move his legs or arms. He despairs of coming up with a plan that'll get them all inside the castle. Oh, if only they had a wheelbarrow…
• But wait, Inigo remembers that the albino from the dungeon was pushing a wheelbarrow when Fezzik knocked him out. They grab it.
• The chapter ends with one last look in on Buttercup, who hears a commotion outside the castle and knows that her beloved Westley has come to save her.