My daughter's unhappy
- Slocum's son and daughter are unhappy, and he tries not to even think of his disabled son, Derek, at all.
- Slocum hates and fears the nurse they have hired to take care of Derek because she is old, superstitious, forcefully opinionated, and reminds him of Mrs. Yerger from the auto insurance agency.
- Every old woman reminds Slocum of his mother, and every young girl who attacks his pride reminds him of his daughter. No one reminds him of his father, since he doesn't remember his father. Okay, maybe Arthur Baron, if Slocum's father had lived longer and been nicer to him.
- So, he wants to hire a new nurse to take care of Derek and fire the old one right before he departs on a business trip. This will give his wife and her sister something to do while he is away. Right, like they don't have better things to do.
- If they don't find a new nurse for Derek, they'll have to send him to a home where he will be erased, crossed out, and filed away.
- Slocum's daughter is fifteen and a lonely and disgruntled person, unlike Slocum's son, who is also unhappy but at least obliging.
- The daughter threatens to move away, to which Slocum retorts that she'd still have to live with people, so she might as well live with him. His unexpected answers always outfox her.
- He sometimes wishes that her daughter would run away from home, just to make things easier.
- She makes unflattering remarks about her mom and Slocum defends his wife, even though his daughter's unflattering remarks about her are accurate. Ouch.
- Slocum says his greatest error when speaking to his daughter is that he treats her like a grown-up when all she probably wants is to be spoken to like a child.
- He rejoices momentarily in the misfortunes of friends and enjoys finding out that he is better off than somebody else.
- The daughter sits alone in her room for long periods of time doing absolutely nothing but thinking (probably about herself, he guesses).
- Slocum confesses that his life isn't entirely credible, and he has trouble believing in it. He's melancholy both in his office and at home. Is he even really himself? Is the color blue that he sees the same color blue that we see?
- He wants Kagle's job, and he also wants to get in the pants of Jane in the Art Department.
- His daughter wants her parents to get divorced since they don't seem to have anything in common anymore.
- Slocum's son suffers from secret tortures, much like Slocum himself.
- Little nine-year-old Slocum is afraid of basically everything: heights and kidnapping, sharks, crabs, drunks, adults who stare, sheriffs, unkempt handymen, wars, Italians, and even Slocum. His son is not afraid of monsters and ghosts because monsters and ghosts are silly.
- Slocum believes that his son pulls the family together. He says he loves his son because he is much more likeable than his daughter. Slocum is also afraid that his son is going to die.
- Slocum doesn't sleep well, except after lunch or sex, and dreams are his only contact with reality when he sleeps. He's tried his wife's tranquilizers but does not want sleeping pills.
- The daughter occasionally asks if he's disappointed in her, to which he responds no, but thinks yes to himself.
- He compares himself to Jack Green, who has kids older than Slocum's, a daughter in college who has abortions between suicide attempts, and a new wife who is crazy.
- Then Slocum worries if it's too late to save his daughter, or even to help her from becoming a lonely, nervous girl. She's too smart to be dumb, and much smarter than his wife, which means she'll sleep with other women's husbands. She will likely get into sex and drugs in college and then later have two children and a divorce. He also does not want his daughter to grow up to be like the types of girls he runs around with.
- He treats his son and daughter differently, responding dotingly to his son's misbehaviors and to his daughter's with severe retribution.
- He'll feel relieved and liberated when Derek dies or is sent to a home.
- He walks on eggshells in his house because everyone always seems so touchy and afraid.
- He talks about Derek with his daughter, who asks if Derek was born the way he is or if his disability was caused by something somebody did. Slocum responds that nobody knows what happened to him.
- Slocum cannot be sure he has ever cared for anyone in the world except himself and his son (not Derek).
- Such a difference between a baby and the person it becomes, Slocum laments.
- He tells how he trained his daughter to drink from a glass by saying "Good girl!" whenever she succeeded. Then she in turn said "Good girl, grandma!" when his mother drank from a glass. That was just about the last time he saw both his daughter and his mother happy.
- Slocum describes his mother's death, telling how she faded speechless into one direction while Derek emerged speechless into the other.
- He wonders what has happened. When did his daughter transform from that little baby in the city who used to touch his hair when he got home from work into an entitled teenage girl who does not care about anyone but herself?
- Meh, it happens.