Sons and Lovers Theme of Love

If there's one thing you need to know about love in this book, it's that it never shows up without its bedfellow, hate. Lawrence seems to believe that people can't feel love without feeling enmity at the same time. This is probably because love fulfills our desire to connect with other people, but those connections can only occur when we break down some of the barriers between us and other people. And it's those barriers that make us individuals. So, in Sons and Lovers, pretty much no one can escape this combo of love and hate.

Questions About Love

  1. In your opinion, are there any examples of ideal love in this book? Which relationship in this book, if any, would Lawrence want us to imitate?
  2. Why can't Paul bring himself to be with Miriam? What's holding him back?
  3. Why would Paul choose Clara over Miriam? Use specific examples from the text to support your answer.

Chew on This

Try on an opinion or two, start a debate, or play the devil’s advocate.

According to Lawrence, love is a really messy thing that can never satisfy our expectations for it.

In Sons and Lovers, love and hate are two sides of the same coin; you can never experience one without experiencing the other.