The Open Boat Steaminess Rating

Exactly how steamy is this story?

G

Is there a rating for zero steaminess? No, not just zero steaminess, but a world in which sex and steaminess simply don't exist? "The Open Boat" exists in a world without romantic love. We have no idea if any of the men are married, or in relationships, or if "it's complicated." The most sensual thing that happens in the story is when the cook asks the oiler about his favorite kind of pie (4.91). If the men are secretly sitting in that boat thinking all kinds of sexy thoughts about their significant others, the narrator knows nothing about it. And neither do we. Zero steaminess.