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Description:

Written in Anglo-Saxon, or Old English, sometime between the 8th and 11th centuries, Beowulf is an epic poem that reflects the early medieval warrior culture of Europe. Basically, it's a poem about warriors who battle monsters... and each other, of course.

Language:
English Language

Transcript

00:00

<<Loogie hocking sound, spit>>

00:04

I

00:19

suppose you're here looking for Beowulf, eh?

00:22

Oh, you're... you're looking for me... Unferth?

00:28

... so I can tell you all about Beowulf. Well, that's just great.

00:32

Well, come on then, pull up that Ye Olde Ikea chair and have a seat.

00:39

Everything was hunky-dory here in the court.

00:42

I was beloved by my king, Hrothgar <<roth-garr>> who showered me with tons of bling -- swords,

00:48

armor, rings, you name it.

00:55

I was a real up-and-comer. Chicks dug me. Okay, so I haven't done anything to get rid

01:02

of Grendel, that horrifying creature who's been terrorizing Hrothgar's hall...

01:08

...but it is totally on my to-do list, I swear. Anyway, a couple of days ago, this Beowulf

01:17

goober shows up out of the blue.

01:20

He's one of a race of people called the Geats. Dumb name, if you ask me.

01:25

"Oh, honey, the "Geats" are coming over tonight." Stupid.

01:30

I've heard a rumor he's addicted to online shopping, too. More like eBay-owulf.

01:35

Anyway, he's immediately "in" with Hrothgar.

01:40

I guess Beowulf's dad and Hrothgar were friends or something. Used to tool around the links

01:45

together, who knows.

01:49

Nepotism will never die, right? Oh, but get this -- Beowulf is now promising

01:54

Hrothgar he's going to get rid of Grendel himself.

01:57

How cocky can you be? Hrothgar's buying it though. Someone's got

02:02

himself a new pet. But look -- I know this Beo-turd isn't as

02:11

mighty as he seems.

02:13

Take that swimming match with his friend Breca <<Bray-ka (roll the r)>> back in Geatland.

02:19

Everybody's talking about how Beowulf whooped him by swimming across the sea in full armor...

02:23

...but I have it on good authority that he actually LOST.

02:32

Not to mention that he ran up a ridiculous armor-cleaning bill.

02:38

And his boasts about how he's going to bring down Grendel?

02:41

Pfft. Whatevs. Put your money where your big, fat mouth is, Beo-dork.

02:46

Oh, and by the way... he claims he's going to take down Grendel... with his bare hands.

02:52

Seems to me this guy is a few screws short of a hardware store.

02:57

The ladies may be flocking to him now, but just wait.

03:01

In a few days, everything will be back to normal.

03:04

Beowulf will be lying in pieces on the hall floor, and I'll be Hrothgar's favorite again.

03:16

I'm not worried. Do I look worried? I'm not. Seriously.

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