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Heracles (Hercules) 6070 Views


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Description:

Whoever said heroes don't bask in their own glory clearly never met Hercules. But was his arrogance justified? We'll let you be the judge.

Language:
English Language

Transcript

00:04

Heracles, a la Shmoop.

00:07

Hi, folks. You are blessed today to be in the presence of the one and only Heracles.

00:13

That's Hercules to my Roman friends and...

00:15

the few people who saw that Disney movie.

00:18

Now, over the years many have accused me of being conceited.

00:22

I'm ridiculously full of myself.

00:24

I had a hard life, y'all, and I earned every ounce of fame

00:28

with my amazingly awesome...um...awesomeness.

00:31

Seriously, just check me out.

00:33

My life was tough even before I was born.

00:36

See, Hera was jealous of my mom, Alcmene <<alc-MEAN-ee>> when she was pregnant with me,

00:40

since my dad, Zeus, was...you know...Hera's husband.

00:45

To get back at my Mom, Hera made it super hard for her to give birth.

00:49

When I finally did make it into the great wide world, Hera put snakes in my cradle.

00:54

Did I whine about it like a little baby though?

00:56

Hades, no!

00:58

I strangled the heck out of those little things. Aw...baby's first rattler...

01:02

Hera never let my life get any easier, either. Seriously, that lady is dark.

01:07

When I got older, she was so jealous of my growing fame

01:10

that she made me go nuts and kill my own children.

01:14

Now, I could've pointed fingers, but instead

01:16

I manned up and took the blame.

01:18

I even embarked on my famous 12 Labors to atone for my crime.

01:23

Hera was totally behind all the crazy stuff I had to do for the Labors, which she assigned

01:27

to me through my wimpy, shill of a cousin, King Eurystheus. <<yur-ISS-thee-iss>>

01:31

These tasks were cray-cray.

01:34

There were plenty of beasts to slay or capture: a lion, a hydra, a boar, a stag, a bull,

01:39

an entire herd of sacred cattle, a herd of ill-tempered horses, some seriously evil birds,

01:46

and worst of all... Cerberus <<SIR-burr-iss>>, the hellhound.

01:50

There was also just some really gross stuff, like mucking out the Augean <<aw-GEE-inn>> stables.

01:55

So, long story short, even though Hera was trying to bring me down,

02:00

I completed all my labors and

02:05

I did a stint with the Argonauts on Jason's Quest for the Golden Fleece.

02:12

I sacked Troy, without having to pull that wussy wooden horse trick.

02:19

And too many other awesome things to even mention.

02:22

Eventually, though, like every great hero, I had to fall.

02:26

And what brought me down, folks? Some hideous, terrible monster? Some impossible task?

02:32

Nope. Turns out the only thing that could bring down this guy... was his own wife.

02:38

Her name was Deianira <<die-uh-NEAR-uh>> which means something like "man destroyer."

02:42

Guess, I should've seen that one coming.

02:45

True, I was about to dump her for a pretty young thing named Iole <<i-OH-lee>>,

02:48

but that's what she gets for getting old.

02:51

Am I right, fellas? Hello? Is this thing on?

02:54

To try and keep this gorgeous hunk of a man in her life, she gave me a robe covered in

02:58

a magic potion that was supposed to make me fall in love with her all over again.

03:02

What she didn't realize, however,

03:04

was that the potion came from a Centaur I killed--to save her, by the way.

03:08

I'd killed him with my Hydra-poisoned arrows, and he made the potion with his tainted blood.

03:14

Let me tell ya, that stuff was toxic.

03:16

So, instead of making me fall madly in love with Deianira all over again, it made my flesh

03:21

melt off my body.

03:24

Bad scene.

03:26

So, to end my pain, I set myself on fire.

03:28

Might as well go out in a blaze of glory, right?

03:31

The flames burnt my mortal body away, and my immortal soul

03:34

ascended to Olympus, where I became a full-fledged god.

03:38

I was a little worried about seeing Hera up here,

03:41

but she chilled out and even let me marry her daughter,

03:43

Hebe <<HEE-bee>>, the goddess of youth.

03:46

Woo hoo! I never have to worry about her getting too old! What a relief.

03:50

So, there you have it, folks: my awesome life. Am I conceited? Oh, most definitely.

03:55

But the way I see it, somebody has to be perfect.

03:57

Otherwise, what will the rest of you people have to aspire to?

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