Salary
Average Salary: $25,000
Expected Lifetime Earnings: $1,043,700
If you weren't a cosmetologist, you probably couldn't afford any of the products you're selling to your clients. (Sixty-dollar shampoo? Really? Forget about it—that's more than six hours of work!) As far as high school graduates go, you could do a whole lot better in the money department. Some beauticians and cosmetologists start out as self-employed "freelancers" making just nine bucks an hour, with a few bucks made on commission from the sales of high-end, fancy-shmancy hair products.
Once you build up a client base, you might make a whopping twenty dollars an hour. In general, though, median pay is about $25,000 per year (source). And for someone as fabulous and high-maintenance as you are...that's rough. To make matters worse, nearly half of beauticians and cosmetologists get no health benefits at all.
But surely it gets better the more experience you have, right? Everyone starts their own salon, right? Umm...not really. In terms of career advancement, you're looking at an exciting life as an administrative assistant to someone who owns a salon.
Or, if you need money and you're willing to ditch the salon altogether, become a front desk receptionist at basically any mid-level company. The pay's higher, though people might not appreciate your hair advice.