Fame

You can gain notoriety among your students for flicking your toothbrush at them, or making them do push-ups as punishment for mispronunciation. But you probably won't make the front page unless you're involved in a scandal. Which would just about put the cap on your teaching career. We hope you won't need Jason Bourne's phone number, but a move abroad could help turn the tables on your bad fortune and put your language skills to use.

If you manage to avoid the scandal in the first place (and we're confident you can), and you do a superb job teaching your scholar-lings, you might get a Teacher Excellence Award. It'd be something to put on the wall in your kitchen (provided the school has enough money to frame it). Every time your cat tries to bat it off the wall, you'll be reminded just how great you are.

Another option for achieving fame is to be so inspirational that you get a movie made about you. The world is crying out for another Dangerous Minds....