Bell Curve

Bell Curve

1
5%

Retail clerk in a big box chain. Salary: $15,000 or less 

Five minutes before the store closes, a large gentleman with a larger mustache comes up to you and starts pounding you with specific, detailed, and incredibly confusing questions about the modifying capabilities of different brands of carbines. You respond with a blank stare, followed by "I just work here, man."

2
25%

Employee at a private gun store. Salary: $25,000 

The annual July Fourth Patriot Special Extravaganza sale is on, bringing dozens of prospective firearm owners to the store. Just like every year, the sheer volume of work is overwhelming. And like every year, your boss is conveniently on vacation with his family.

3
50%

Legal gun runner. Salary: $40,000 

As you drive off to meet your buyer with a trunk full of ammunition, you notice a commotion in your rear view mirror. You stop as your spouse runs up to the driver side window. Between gasps for air, she gives you your seller's permit. Whew, that was a close one.

4
75%

Shop owner. Salary: $55,000 

Out back, you shoot the breeze with the delivery guy as the two of you unload today's shipment. Misjudging the curb, you trip and fall right into a box marked "grenades". The box almost falls, but you catch it at the last minute between the truck and your knee. You thank your lucky stars for those yoga classes you've been taking.

5
95%

Popular shop owner. Salary: $80,000 

Getting off the phone and putting it back into your pocket, you return to the tee for your next drive. "How's everything?" your friends ask, as you measure the wind and distance. "Fine," you reply, "the July Fourth Patriot Special Extravaganza sale is a hit, just like every year. And like every year, my underpaid employee is handling it." Bringing the club down, you smack the ball a full 300 yards, laying it down seven feet from the edge of the cup. Nice shot.