Bell Curve

Bell Curve

1
5%

You spent $18,000 on a soiree to gain support from the League of Women Voters. Unfortunately, you somehow invited the League of Women Boaters instead. Though they did enjoy the free dinner cruise.

2
25%

Your candidate was a little loopy from jet lag, so you created a list of prepared statements for the press conference. This probably would have saved the day if he hadn't mixed up his eye drops with "Liquimint" breath freshener. Maybe the reporters mistook his tears for empathy...

3
50%

The website for Mayor Hartz has been getting tons of hits lately, and it's blowing up social media. All this because of one little typo in the spelling of the Mayor's name. Who put the "H" key so close to "F," anyway?

4
75%

Polls were looking promising, press was favorable, and every household had a magnet with your candidate's face on them. And then, that darned opponent had to save a kitten from drowning. Right next to a news van. Frankly, the feline CPR seemed a bit over the top.

5
95%

Ever since you received a Pollie award, you've had a lot of decision-making to do. Should you put it on the mantel or the dining room table? Or should it go in your new office, down the hall from your biggest fan, the recently-elected governor? Finally you decide to mount it on your mailbox. After all, it was your direct-mail advertisement, "A vote for Reese is a vote for peace" which won you the gold.