Accidents Shmaccidents: Collisions Are Not Accidents

Accidents Shmaccidents: Collisions Are Not Accidents

An accident is something that happens without anyone being at fault—something that couldn't have been avoided. 

Unfortunately, this isn't true of most collisions. If you're continually alert and careful, and other drivers are as well, there should almost never be any cause for a collision.

Causes of Collisions

The most common causes of a collision are

  1. unsafe speed. "Warp Speed" would fall into this category, as would "Ludicrous Speed."
  2. driving on the wrong side of the road. It's been three months since your trip to England. You should have adjusted by now.
  3. making a wrong or illegal turn. There are plenty of places to turn up ahead, so don't press your luck by trying some sneaky little maneuver just to save yourself a few seconds.
  4. violating signals, signs, or right-of-way rules. If you've read this entire handbook, understand the rules, and intend to abide by them, you shouldn't have a problem. If, however, you plan to act in direct opposition to the guidelines set forth here, then we'll go cry in a corner. We worked really hard on this.
  5. driver distractions. Perhaps this wasn't the best time to start assembling that ship in a bottle.

What To Do If You're In a Collision

Say you're sorry. Works like a charm if you're guilty and like paying bills.

Other than that:

  1. Stop your vehicle. If you keep trucking along after a collision as if nothing happened, that's a "hit and run," and you can be in deep, deep trouble. We're talking more than two weeks without television. Someone could be hurt, so hop out as soon as it's safe, and approach the driver of the other vehicle.
  2. If someone is hurt, call 911. Unless you're certified, don't perform mouth-to-mouth. Even if they're hot.
  3. As long as everybody's okay, move your vehicle out of the lane so that traffic can proceed around the site of the collision. Your day may be shot to hell, but for everyone else, life goes on.
  4. You'll need to present your personal information to the driver of the other vehicle, as well as to anyone else involved and to any officers who arrive on the scene. This includes your driver's license, registration, evidence of financial responsibility, current address, and Yogurtville Frequent Yogurt-Eater card.
  5. If you hit a parked car or destroyed any personal property in the course of the collision, and the owner of said property isn't present, leave a note with your name, phone number, and address. Hey, they may be so impressed by your honesty and accountability that they'll offer you a reward. (You just tell yourself that.) Also, be sure to report the collision to the police.
  6. If someone's killed or injured as a result of the collision, you or your representative (a.k.a. an insurance agent or something of the like here, not your best friend Eddie) must make a written report to the police immediately.
  7. You must also submit a written report to the DPS within 30 days. It's not that they don't consider the collision as urgent a matter as the police do, but they're just really backed up right now.
  8. If an animal is killed, call a humane society or the police. Don't move the animal yourself or leave it to die. And if it's a kitten, exile yourself to a remote island and don't ever re-enter the world of man, because kittens are adorable, and you will never be forgiven.
  9. Appear in court. Not always, but sometimes. Obviously it depends on the cause of the collision and if a police officer filed a report or not. If lightning struck a telephone pole, which then crashed on your car while you were pulling out of your driveway, you probably won't have to go to court. If you blew through a red light and smashed into the side of a school bus, though...

Reporting a Collision

You must report a collision to the DPS within 30 days if one of the following applies:

  1. There was at least $250 in property damage. You may have thought that a three-year-old could have painted that stupid composition of blue circles, but if the guy says it's an original Kandinsky, you have to report it. Goodness knows what such a valuable work of art was doing by the side of the road, though.
  2. Someone was killed or injured. The only exception to this is if your car landed on the Wicked Witch of the East, in which case, you'll be paraded around on the shoulders of munchkins and treated like a god. Next stop: the Emerald City.

However, if the crash is investigated by a police officer, you might not have to submit a separate report to the DPS. The cops may take care of all that. As if they don't already have enough paperwork to deal with.

You'll need to fill out and submit a Report of Traffic Accident form (SR-13). You can obtain one from the DPS, and you better get your hands on the official form. You can have your driving privilege suspended if you fail to submit this report or if you were uninsured at the time of the crash. But that doesn't concern you because you're more than sufficiently insured. Right? Right?

 
(Source)

General Do-Goodery

Let's say you're driving home from the mall, minding your own beeswax, when all of a sudden, you witness a horrible accident on the road up ahead. 

Rather than curse the gods that you might now have to miss tonight's episode of The Big Bang Theory, you decide to help out as much as you can. What should you do?

  • Park your vehicle off the road and put on your flashers. Duh.
  • If you have flares or reflectors, place them 200 feet on either side of the crash scene to warn upcoming vehicles.
  • Send someone to call the police if you haven't already done so.
  • If the drivers of the vehicles involved haven't already done so or can't on their own for some reason, turn off the ignition of the cars to prevent a fire.
  • If there's a fire, try to put it out with a fire extinguisher, blanket, or dirt. And don't smoke while you're waiting for the cops, unless you'd like all the spilled gasoline around you to catch fire.
  • If someone is pinned in their vehicle, try to release them, but do not move the person if they're injured, as you may make the injuries worse. Make sure that the person's head and spine are firmly supported, and wait for the ambulance to arrive.
  • Do not go near any fallen electrical wires if any are present.
  • If you're trained in first aid, you should help those who are injured. Otherwise, call an ambulance, attempt to stem any bleeding, and wait with the injured parties.

If you aren't the first person on the scene and your assistance isn't required, keep driving. Don't slow down or stop, as this may cause a backup in traffic that could slow down emergency response vehicles.