Payroll

See: Payroll Deduction Plan.

Like a jelly roll. Only with dollars.

Pay stubs used to come on a giant roll in factories. At the end of the week, the big boss would fill in the hours next to the name of whoever got paid. They'd take that stub to the pay window and get cash so that their kids could buy glow-in-the-dark sneakers, drones, and new cell phones. Well, no, actually...so that their kids could eat. Things were harder back then.

Okay, so in modern parlance, a payroll is just that...modernized. Included in a payroll stub are things like FICA and FUTA withdrawals, tax withholdings for state and federal contributions, and various other semi-mandatory savings withholdings, so that a modern pay stub has at least a dozen lines from financial parasites who have eaten away that $1,000 you thought you were getting, until it was whittled down to being just $721.23.