How we cite our quotes: (Chapter.Paragraph)
Quote #1
We walk together to the kitchen. On these mornings when my brother makes breakfast, and my father's hand skims my hair as he reads the newspaper, and my mother hums as she clears the table—it is on these mornings that I feel guiltiest for wanting to leave them. (1.14)
Much like in our world, one of the main sources of guilt for Tris is her family: they seem like such perfect Abnegation folk, and it's beautiful to watch them (see "Family"), but Tris still doesn't feel like she belongs (see "Identity"). That's pretty much the perfect formula for guilt, when your family and your identity don't mesh.
Quote #2
"Decades ago our ancestors realized that it is not political ideology, religious belief, race, or nationalism that is to blame for a warring world. Rather, they determined that it was the fault of human personality—of humankind's inclination toward evil, in whatever form that is. They divided into factions that sought to eradicate those qualities they believed responsible for the world's disarray." (5.22)
When Marcus explains how the five-faction system came to be, it might seem crazy to us. But at least these people are doing something—they identified the problem and tried to destroy what they blamed. Oh, when we put it that way, maybe that doesn't sound so good.
Quote #3
But I have to see my parents one more time. I look over my shoulder at the last second before I pass them, and immediately wish I hadn't. My father's eyes burn into mine with a look of accusation. At first, when I feel the heat behind my eyes, I think he's found a way to set me on fire, to punish me for what I've done, but no—I'm about to cry. (6.2)
Tris's feelings of guilt might be punishment enough. Here she is, feeling all kinds of bad about abandoning her parents, to the point that she feels like she's being set on fire. The way it's phrased we know she's not: "At first[…] I think" are indicators that her first thoughts were incorrect. But still, her feeling of guilt does seem like its own punishment here.
Quote #4
My mother and father would not approve of my kicking someone when she's down. I don't care. (14.48-9)
Tris wants us to think that she doesn't care what her parents would think. But there's a big difference between kicking someone and thinking "I wonder what's for lunch today"—which shows you really don't care—and kicking someone and thinking "mom and dad wouldn't be thrilled with this." She may say she doesn't care, but the fact that she's still thinking about her parents shows that she kind of maybe sort of does.
Quote #5
My father used to say that sometimes, the best way to help someone is just to be near them. I feel good when I do something I know he would be proud of, like it makes up for all the things I've done that he wouldn't be proud of. (16.17)
Here's one way Tris finds to deal with past guilt. Yes, she abandoned her family, but she can still put into practice some of their lessons, like helping other people, or scrubbing the floor like her mom would (17.3). Does this make up for her past guilt, though? Or does she still feel guilty?
Quote #6
Somewhere inside me is a merciful, forgiving person. Somewhere there is a girl who tries to understand what people are going through, who accepts that people do evil things and that desperation leads them to darker places than they ever imagined. I swear she exists, and she hurts for the repentant boy I see in front of me. But if I saw her, I wouldn't recognize her. (23.92-3)
Here's a guilt and blame twofer: (1) how much does Tris blame Al for joining with Peter and attacking her?; and (2) how guilty does Tris feel for not forgiving Al? It's curious that this issue of guilt and blame is phrased in the same way that Tris talks about her identity—it's about being able to recognize a part of herself. If only she'd had mirrors growing up.
Quote #7
"Maybe. Maybe there's more we all could have done," he says, "but we just have to let the guilt remind us to do better next time."
I frown and pull back. That is a lesson that members of Abnegation learn—guilt as a tool, rather than a weapon against the self. It is a line straight from one of my father's lectures at our weekly meetings. (24.107-8)
Great, Tris meets a nice (but wounded and mysterious) boy—and he starts talking like her father, which is a total turn-off. But he does have a theory of guilt that might help. So now Tris has two methods of dealing with guilt: trying to act like her parents and trying to do better next time—both of them Abnegation lessons.
Quote #8
I shake my head and take a bite. What did I expect? Just because we kissed doesn't mean anything changes. Maybe he changed his mind about liking me. Maybe he thinks kissing me was a mistake. (27.11)
Oh, girlfriend, we've all been there. Aggravatingly (and relatably), her first response to Four ignoring her is to blame herself for getting her hopes up and misreading the situation. Even in the dystopian future, there's going to your room to feel bad about yourself when relationships seem to be going wrong. Some things never change.
Quote #9
I press my forehead to the wall and scream. After a few seconds I clamp my hand over my mouth to muffle the sound and scream again, a scream that turns into a sob. The gun clatters to the ground. I still see Will.
He smiles in my memory. A curled lip. Straight teeth. Light in his eyes. Laughing, teasing, more alive in memory than I am in reality. It was him or me. I chose me. But I feel dead too. (36.8-9)
After shooting her mind-controlled friend Will, Tris feels so guilty that her sentences start breaking down. A similar thing happens to her with Al commits suicide (24.9-16). Notice also the pretty severe effect of this guilt: screaming, crying, and feeling dead. Guilt is (obviously) no laughing matter.
Quote #10
"What makes you think you have the right to shoot someone?" my father says as he follows me up the path. We pass the tattoo place. Where is Tori now? And Christina?
"Now isn't the time for debates about ethics," I say.
"Now is the perfect time," he says, "because you will soon get the opportunity to shoot someone again, and if you don't realize —"
"Realize what?" I say without turning around. "That every second I waste means another Abnegation dead and another Dauntless made into a murderer? I've realized that. Now it's your turn."
"There is a right way to do things."
"What makes you so sure that you know what it is?" I say.
"Please stop fighting," Caleb interrupts, his voice chiding. "We have more important things to do right now." (37.98-104)
Honestly, the only person we disagree with here is Caleb. They are invading the Dauntless compound and may have to kill people (or die) to save lives? This is the perfect time for an ethical debate. It could save you a whole lot of guilt later.