The Two Gentlemen of Verona: Act 2, Scene 3 Translation

A side-by-side translation of Act 2, Scene 3 of The Two Gentlemen of Verona from the original Shakespeare into modern English.

  Original Text

 Translated Text

  Source: Folger Shakespeare Library

Enter Lance, weeping, with his dog, Crab.

LANCE Nay, ’twill be this hour ere I have done weeping.
All the kind of the Lances have this very fault. I have
received my proportion like the Prodigious Son and
am going with Sir Proteus to the Imperial’s court. I
think Crab my dog be the sourest-natured dog that 5
lives: my mother weeping, my father wailing, my
sister crying, our maid howling, our cat wringing
her hands, and all our house in a great perplexity,
yet did not this cruel-hearted cur shed one tear. He
is a stone, a very pibble stone, and has no more pity 10
in him than a dog. A Jew would have wept to have
seen our parting. Why, my grandam, having no
eyes, look you, wept herself blind at my parting.
Nay, I’ll show you the manner of it. He takes off his
shoes.
This shoe is my father. No, this left shoe is 15
my father; no, no, this left shoe is my mother. Nay,
that cannot be so neither. Yes, it is so, it is so; it hath
the worser sole. This shoe with the hole in it is my
mother; and this my father. A vengeance on ’t, there
’tis! Now sir, this staff is my sister, for, look you, she 20
is as white as a lily and as small as a wand. This hat
is Nan, our maid. I am the dog. No, the dog is
himself, and I am the dog. O, the dog is me, and I
am myself. Ay, so, so. Now come I to my father:
“Father, your blessing.” Now should not the shoe 25
speak a word for weeping. Now should I kiss my
father. He kisses one shoe. Well, he weeps on. Now
come I to my mother. O, that she could speak now
like a wold woman! Well, I kiss her. He kisses the
other shoe.
Why, there ’tis; here’s my mother’s 30
breath up and down. Now come I to my sister. Mark
the moan she makes! Now the dog all this while
sheds not a tear nor speaks a word. But see how I
lay the dust with my tears.

Lance (Proteus's servant) and Crab (Lance's dog) enter the stage and Lance makes a big speech to the audience about how he must accompany Proteus to the "Emperor's" court in Milan. 

Lance's entire family is upset that Lance is leaving. His mom's "weeping," his dad's "wailing," his sister's "crying," the maid's "howling," etc. The only member of the family that couldn't care less is Lance's beloved dog, Crab.

To demonstrate his dog's indifference, Lance takes off his shoes and then proceeds to use his footwear, a staff (walking stick), and a hat as props to reenact what went down at his family home when he broke the sad news of his imminent departure.

Enter Pantino.

PANTINO Lance, away, away! Aboard. Thy master is 35
shipped, and thou art to post after with oars. What’s
the matter? Why weep’st thou, man? Away, ass.
You’ll lose the tide if you tarry any longer.

LANCE It is no matter if the tied were lost, for it is the
unkindest tied that ever any man tied. 40

PANTINO What’s the unkindest tide?

LANCE Why, he that’s tied here, Crab my dog.

PANTINO Tut, man. I mean thou ’lt lose the flood and, in
losing the flood, lose thy voyage and, in losing thy
voyage, lose thy master and, in losing thy master, 45
lose thy service and, in losing thy service—Lance
covers Pantino’s mouth.
Why dost thou stop my
mouth?

LANCE For fear thou shouldst lose thy tongue.

PANTINO Where should I lose my tongue? 50

LANCE In thy tale.

PANTINO In thy tail!

LANCE Lose the tide, and the voyage, and the master,
and the service, and the tied. Why, man, if the river
were dry, I am able to fill it with my tears; if the 55
wind were down, I could drive the boat with my
sighs.

PANTINO Come. Come away, man. I was sent to call
thee.

LANCE Sir, call me what thou dar’st. 60

PANTINO Wilt thou go?

LANCE Well, I will go.

They exit.

Pantino enters, interrupting Lance's little skit, and orders Lance aboard the ship that's setting sail for Milan. (Yeah, we know Verona and Milan are landlocked, but Shakespeare really likes to incorporate sea voyages into his plays.)

Lance can hardly speak because he's sobbing about his cruel, unloving dog, who isn't even sad to see him go.

One dirty joke and some silly banter later, Panthino finally convinces Lance to board the ship to avoid losing his job as Proteus's servant.