Graceling Marriage Quotes

Katsa's always quick to work this line into her conversations with eligible bachelors, and she must have to do it multiple times a week. Can you imagine making a decision about your life, and then having someone continually try to force you to make a different choice? Because that's what Randa's doing by constantly placing eligible bachelors next to Katsa at dinner. It'd be like if you told your parents you were going vegetarian and they continued to put meat in front of you at every meal. That would get old. Fast.

Marriage as a business proposition. Lovely. To be sure, this still goes on in parts of our world. Women are more or less auctioned off for the benefit of their families and the families into which they marry. Land. Money. Status. Hmph. With women having such economic value, you'd think they'd be treated better, but it is precisely in these societies where women are seen as a commodity that they receive the worst treatment. And the fewest rights.

Gee. Hard to imagine why Katsa turned him down, isn't it? We're kidding, obviously—of course the life described here would be detestable to Katsa. It would be full of duties that don't interest her, and she'd be restricted to the domestic sphere when what she loves more than anything is to be riding through the countryside at breakneck speed.

And the idea of Giddon as her protector? That's an insult. That would be like if you were a really good cook or a great with power tools, and your partner insisted that he or she should be in charge of that task based on gender. Lame.

Finally Katsa meets someone who doesn't see marriage as an inevitability in life. But it's important to note that Po doesn't resist marriage for the same reasons as Katsa. In fact, we're not sure he's resistant to the idea of marriage at all. Notice the verb tense he uses: hadn't. He hadn't pictured himself marrying anyone. Perhaps now, he has.

Ultimately, of course, Katsa and Raffin decide against this idea, mainly (it seems) because Katsa wouldn't be able to hold up her end of the bargain. She says she wouldn't consent to be queen, wouldn't bear him heirs, and wouldn't let herself be tied to someone else—not even Raffin.

The queen thing, we get. She doesn't want that position. And the kids? We get that, too. Not everyone wants or needs to have children. But the part about being tied to another person… that part gives us trouble. Because if she were to fall in love (as she does, with Po), wouldn't that love essentially tie her to another person? In fact, isn't she ultimately tied to Po in the end? Maybe not through any sort of legal or religious ceremony, but still—heart strings must count for something, right?

The other thing this quote points out to us is that women are not the only ones who sometimes have to make tough choices around matrimony in Katsa's world. Raffin, it seems, is equally vexed by the custom of marriage. It's his duty, whether it's in his heart or not. We wonder what choices he'll make when the time comes.

We tend to think of marriage as something you do when you love someone and want to spend the rest of your life with her/him, but clearly in Katsa's time—whatever time that may be—women sometimes married (or were married off) in order to gain a measure of protection.

Giddon suggests that Katsa marry him to protect herself from Randa, and as Katsa observes the serving girl at the inn, she recognizes that the girl is less safe among the merchants precisely because she doesn't have a husband. Interesting, no? Does any of that attitude remain today? The idea that a woman, once married, enjoys a measure of protection because other men see her as off limits. If so, in what form? And where?

Oh boy. You know, sometimes love just ain't enough. Or maybe it is. What do you think about Katsa's logic here? To love someone else, whether you end up marrying that person or not, does require you to give up a certain amount of freedom. Because being in a loving relationship with someone—and this applies whether that person is a family member, a friend, or a romantic partner—demands compromise on the part of both parties.

Is it just the compromises demanded by marriage that would be too much for Katsa? Or does her level of independence preclude her from forming strong friendships as well?
Of course, it's a testament to Katsa's culture and her upbringing that she sees no other option but to leave Po. And it's a testament to Po's culture and his upbringing that he does.

This is a really interesting quote because it begs the question: how? Po understands what Katsa means here. In fact, the way he watches her eyes before replying, "Yes, I understand you," it almost seems like he reads something in her thoughts that makes the point clearer to him.

So what do you think it is that Po gets from Katsa's thoughts and feelings on the subject? How would the simple act of marriage, of her becoming his wife, change her? And do you agree that becoming someone's wife—or husband—does, by necessity, cause a change in a person? Explain.

This is Katsa's explanation of how becoming Po's wife in name would change things for her, and it seems like she has a pretty good case. Because of her culture's approach to marriage and the fact that a woman essentially becomes subservient to a man once they tie the knot, yeah, we get it. Her freedom wouldn't be hers, no matter how unrestrictive Po was.

And of course, this still holds true in some cultures today, but what about yours? Do you think women or men compromise their freedom when they choose to marry? Is marriage, at its most basic, a restrictive institution? Why or why not?

"If you love someone, set them free. If they come back to you they're yours; if they don't they never were."  Uh, yeah. That quote loses some of its potency because it's always showing up on cheesy posters, but it's a good one, nonetheless. And it's kind of the idea here. Except that with Katsa and Po it's more like, "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, set it free again. Lather, rinse, repeat." The relationship seems to work for Po and Katsa, but what do you think? Could you live with this sort of relationship? Why or why not?