Hel's Conversations

Hel's Conversations

Wall

Frigg

Please Hel, I'm begging you. Release Balder from Hel! He's just a boy…

Loki

Awww, does mommy miss her little Balder-walder?

Balder

Who calls me that?

Hel

Sorry Frigg, but fair's fair. Nobody escapes from Hel on my watch.

Hel

Ahhh, eternal darkness. Silence. Stillness. Why would anyone ever want to leave?

Hod

Ummm, because it's freezing here? Also, the River Gjöll is really noisy.

Balder

But your hospitality is very welcoming, Hel.

Hel

Thanks, I try :-)

Nanna

Hel, I'm so impressed by how clean your hall is. How do you keep it looking so nice?

Hel

Ah, those would be my servants, Ganglati and Ganglöt. They may be slow, but they do get the job done eventually.

Freyja

Do they have any friends who are looking for work? My cook just quit and her replacement is terrible. Lutefisk for dinner three days in a row…

Thor

Mmmmm, lutefisk. Of course, I'll eat anything.

Hel

I don't know, Freyja, but I'll get the word out that you're looking.

Fenrir

Hey sis, check out my advocacy website! They're trying to get me sprung. They even published my life story.

Hel

Looks great. Hope that works out for you, bro.

Jormungand

Hey, why issssn't anybody trying to get me freed?

Hel

Because you're too big to fit anywhere but right where you are.

Jormungand

Well, yesss, there's that. LOL.

Ganglöt

Mistress, I've finished the lefse for Balder's welcome banquet. Is there anything else you'd like me to prepare?

Hel

Well, what did you have in mind for dessert?

Idunn

I've just published a great apple kuken recipe on my blog! Check it out!

Ganglöt

I don't know if we have enough apples for that, mistress.

Idunn

I'd offer to bring some over, but I'm not eager to visit your place anytime soon, LOL.

Hel

Understood!

Modgud (Móðguðr)

Mistress, there's some guy at the gate here says he wants to talk to you about Balder. Says his name is Hermod.

Hel

Blast, I told Freyja that I'm not releasing Balder. She just won't take no for an answer, will she?

Modgud

So what do I tell him?

Hel

Sigh. I'll deal with him. Let him through. Oh, and give him directions to Éljuðnir.

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