Henry IV Part 2: Act 3, Scene 2 Translation

A side-by-side translation of Act 3, Scene 2 of Henry IV Part 2 from the original Shakespeare into modern English.

Original Text	Translated Text
Source: Folger Shakespeare Library
Enter Justice Shallow and Justice Silence. SHALLOW Come on, come on, come on. Give me your hand, sir, give me your hand, sir. An early stirrer, by the rood. And how doth my good cousin Silence? SILENCE Good morrow, good cousin Shallow. SHALLOW And how doth my cousin your bedfellow? 5 And your fairest daughter and mine, my goddaughter Ellen? SILENCE Alas, a black ousel, cousin Shallow. SHALLOW By yea and no, sir. I dare say my cousin William is become a good scholar. He is at Oxford 10 still, is he not? SILENCE Indeed, sir, to my cost.	Outside his country house in Gloucestershire, Justice Shallow greets his longtime friend, Justice Silence. The two men engage in the easy banter of the middle class – they exchange pleasantries, ask after each other's families, talk about young relatives who are attending law school, the current price of livestock, and so on.
SHALLOW He must then to the Inns o’ Court shortly. I was once of Clement’s Inn, where I think they will talk of mad Shallow yet. 15 SILENCE You were called “Lusty Shallow” then, cousin. SHALLOW By the Mass, I was called anything, and I would have done anything indeed too, and roundly too. There was I, and little John Doit of Staffordshire, 20 and black George Barnes, and Francis Pickbone, and Will Squele, a Cotswold man. You had not four such swinge-bucklers in all the Inns o’ Court again. And I may say to you, we knew where the bona robas were and had the best of them all at 25 commandment. Then was Jack Falstaff, now Sir John, a boy, and page to Thomas Mowbray, Duke of Norfolk. SILENCE This Sir John, cousin, that comes hither anon about soldiers? 30 SHALLOW The same Sir John, the very same. I see him break Scoggin’s head at the court gate, when he was a crack not thus high; and the very same day did I fight with one Sampson Stockfish, a fruiterer, behind Grey’s Inn. Jesu, Jesu, the mad days that I 35 have spent! And to see how many of my old acquaintance are dead. SILENCE We shall all follow, cousin. SHALLOW Certain, ’tis certain, very sure, very sure. Death, as the Psalmist saith, is certain to all. All 40 shall die. How a good yoke of bullocks at Stamford Fair? SILENCE By my troth, cousin, I was not there. SHALLOW Death is certain. Is old Dooble of your town living yet? 45 SILENCE Dead, sir. SHALLOW Jesu, Jesu, dead! He drew a good bow, and dead? He shot a fine shoot. John o’ Gaunt loved him well, and betted much money on his head. Dead! He would have clapped i’ th’ clout at twelve score, and 50 carried you a forehand shaft a fourteen and fourteen and a half, that it would have done a man’s heart good to see. How a score of ewes now? SILENCE Thereafter as they be, a score of good ewes may be worth ten pounds. 55 SHALLOW And is old Dooble dead? SILENCE Here come two of Sir John Falstaff’s men, as I think.	It's not long before the two begin to reminisce about the "good old days," when Shallow and Silence were young students at the Inns of Court (prestigious law schools in London). Nowadays, so many of their old friends are dead and gone. The old men note that they too will be dead and gone some time soon, death being the one certainty in life.
Enter Bardolph and one with him. SHALLOW Good morrow, honest gentlemen. BARDOLPH I beseech you, which is Justice Shallow? 60 SHALLOW I am Robert Shallow, sir, a poor esquire of this county and one of the King’s justices of the peace. What is your good pleasure with me? BARDOLPH My captain, sir, commends him to you, my captain, Sir John Falstaff, a tall gentleman, by 65 heaven, and a most gallant leader. SHALLOW He greets me well, sir. I knew him a good backsword man. How doth the good knight? May I ask how my lady his wife doth? BARDOLPH Sir, pardon. A soldier is better accommodated 70 than with a wife.	Before the Justices can think of any more of their dead friends, Bardolph and Falstaff's Page show up and announce the imminent arrival of Falstaff. The Justices ask how Falstaff's wife is doing and Bardolph replies that Falstaff is "better accommodated" than with a wife. (Translation: Please. Falstaff doesn't need a wife. He sees plenty of action at the brothels.)
SHALLOW It is well said, in faith, sir, and it is well said indeed too. “Better accommodated.” It is good, yea, indeed is it. Good phrases are surely, and ever were, very commendable. “Accommodated.” It 75 comes of accommodo. Very good, a good phrase. BARDOLPH Pardon, sir, I have heard the word— “phrase” call you it? By this day, I know not the phrase, but I will maintain the word with my sword to be a soldierlike word, and a word of exceeding 80 good command, by heaven. “Accommodated,” that is when a man is, as they say, accommodated, or when a man is being whereby he may be thought to be accommodated, which is an excellent thing. Enter Falstaff. SHALLOW It is very just. Look, here comes good Sir 85 John.—Give me your good hand, give me your Worship’s good hand. By my troth, you like well and bear your years very well. Welcome, good Sir John. FALSTAFF I am glad to see you well, good Master Robert Shallow.—Master Sure-card, as I think? 90 SHALLOW No, Sir John. It is my cousin Silence, in commission with me. FALSTAFF Good Master Silence, it well befits you should be of the peace. SILENCE Your good Worship is welcome. 95 FALSTAFF Fie, this is hot weather, gentlemen. Have you provided me here half a dozen sufficient men? SHALLOW Marry, have we, sir. Will you sit? They sit at a table.	Falstaff arrives, exchanges pleasantries with the old men, and asks if they've gathered up the men he's asked for. (Falstaff is in Gloucestershire to enlist soldiers into the king's army.)
FALSTAFF Let me see them, I beseech you. SHALLOW Where’s the roll? Where’s the roll? Where’s 100 the roll? Let me see, let me see, let me see. So, so, so, so, so. So, so. Yea, marry, sir.—Rafe Mouldy!— Let them appear as I call, let them do so, let them do so. Enter Mouldy, followed by Shadow, Wart, Feeble, and Bullcalf. Let me see, where is Mouldy? 105 MOULDY, coming forward Here, an it please you. SHALLOW What think you, Sir John? A good-limbed fellow, young, strong, and of good friends. FALSTAFF Is thy name Mouldy? MOULDY Yea, an ’t please you. 110 FALSTAFF ’Tis the more time thou wert used. SHALLOW Ha, ha, ha, most excellent, i’ faith! Things that are mouldy lack use. Very singular good, in faith. Well said, Sir John, very well said. FALSTAFF Prick him. 115 Shallow marks the scroll. MOULDY I was pricked well enough before, an you could have let me alone. My old dame will be undone now for one to do her husbandry and her drudgery. You need not to have pricked me. There are other men fitter to go out than I. 120 FALSTAFF Go to. Peace, Mouldy. You shall go. Mouldy, it is time you were spent. MOULDY Spent?	Shallow and Silence have indeed gathered up some men and proceed to trot out the recruits one at a time so Falstaff can inspect them and make fun of them. The first man is Mouldy (that's really his name) who tries to get out of serving by claiming that his wife will be seriously angry at him if he leaves for battle because she won't have anyone to service her or do the household chores. Too bad, says Falstaff, who signs him up for military service anyway.
SHALLOW Peace, fellow, peace. Stand aside. Know you where you are?—For th’ other, Sir John. Let me 125 see.—Simon Shadow! FALSTAFF Yea, marry, let me have him to sit under. He’s like to be a cold soldier. SHALLOW Where’s Shadow? SHADOW, coming forward Here, sir. 130 FALSTAFF Shadow, whose son art thou? SHADOW My mother’s son, sir. FALSTAFF Thy mother’s son! Like enough, and thy father’s shadow. So the son of the female is the shadow of the male. It is often so, indeed, but much 135 of the father’s substance. SHALLOW Do you like him, Sir John? FALSTAFF Shadow will serve for summer. Prick him, for we have a number of shadows to fill up the muster book. 140 SHALLOW Thomas Wart! FALSTAFF Where’s he? WART, coming forward Here, sir. FALSTAFF Is thy name Wart? WART Yea, sir. 145 FALSTAFF Thou art a very ragged wart. SHALLOW Shall I prick him down, Sir John? FALSTAFF It were superfluous, for his apparel is built upon his back, and the whole frame stands upon pins. Prick him no more. 150 SHALLOW Ha, ha, ha. You can do it, sir, you can do it. I commend you well.—Francis Feeble! FEEBLE, coming forward Here, sir. SHALLOW What trade art thou, Feeble? FEEBLE A woman’s tailor, sir. 155 SHALLOW Shall I prick him, sir? FALSTAFF You may, but if he had been a man’s tailor, he’d ha’ pricked you.—Wilt thou make as many holes in an enemy’s battle as thou hast done in a woman’s petticoat? 160 FEEBLE I will do my good will, sir. You can have no more. FALSTAFF Well said, good woman’s tailor, well said, courageous Feeble. Thou wilt be as valiant as the wrathful dove or most magnanimous mouse.— 165 Prick the woman’s tailor well, Master Shallow, deep, Master Shallow. FEEBLE I would Wart might have gone, sir. FALSTAFF I would thou wert a man’s tailor, that thou mightst mend him and make him fit to go. I cannot 170 put him to a private soldier that is the leader of so many thousands. Let that suffice, most forcible Feeble. FEEBLE It shall suffice, sir. FALSTAFF I am bound to thee, reverend Feeble.—Who 175 is the next?	Next come Shadow, Wart, and Feeble. The latter is a woman's tailor so Falstaff makes a few cracks about what a "feeble" wimp he must be. He signs up Shadow and Feeble but tells Wart to stand aside.
SHALLOW Peter Bullcalf o’ th’ green. FALSTAFF Yea, marry, let’s see Bullcalf. BULLCALF, coming forward Here, sir. FALSTAFF Fore God, a likely fellow. Come, prick me 180 Bullcalf till he roar again. BULLCALF O Lord, good my lord captain— FALSTAFF What, dost thou roar before thou art pricked? BULLCALF O Lord, sir, I am a diseased man. 185 FALSTAFF What disease hast thou? BULLCALF A whoreson cold, sir, a cough, sir, which I caught with ringing in the King’s affairs upon his coronation day, sir. FALSTAFF Come, thou shalt go to the wars in a gown. 190 We will have away thy cold, and I will take such order that thy friends shall ring for thee.—Is here all?	Then a young man named Bullcalf is trotted out. When Falstaff enlists him, Bullcalf complains that he's "diseased." Apparently, he caught a cold while he was celebrating the king's recent coronation and, sadly, he's now unfit to serve the king in the army. Falstaff signs him up anyway.
SHALLOW Here is two more called than your number. You must have but four here, sir, and so I pray you 195 go in with me to dinner. FALSTAFF Come, I will go drink with you, but I cannot tarry dinner. I am glad to see you, by my troth, Master Shallow. SHALLOW O, Sir John, do you remember since we lay 200 all night in the windmill in Saint George’s Field? FALSTAFF No more of that, good Master Shallow, no more of that. SHALLOW Ha, ’twas a merry night. And is Jane Nightwork alive? 205 FALSTAFF She lives, Master Shallow. SHALLOW She never could away with me. FALSTAFF Never, never. She would always say she could not abide Master Shallow. SHALLOW By the Mass, I could anger her to th’ heart. 210 She was then a bona roba. Doth she hold her own well? FALSTAFF Old, old, Master Shallow. SHALLOW Nay, she must be old. She cannot choose but be old. Certain, she’s old, and had Robin Nightwork 215 by old Nightwork before I came to Clement’s Inn.	Enlisting unwilling men into the military is thirsty work so Justice Shallow invites Falstaff in for a drink and a nice, hot meal. Of course Falstaff will stay for a drink but he doesn't have time for dinner. Shallow can't wait to reminisce with Falstaff about the old days, when they were law students together and spent their free time raising hell in the taverns and brothels. Shallow asks if an old acquaintance, Jane Nightwork, is still alive and Falstaff says yes but she's old these days. (We're guessing by her name that Ms. Nightwork is a prostitute the men used to visit.)
SILENCE That’s fifty-five year ago. SHALLOW Ha, cousin Silence, that thou hadst seen that that this knight and I have seen!—Ha, Sir John, said I well? 220 FALSTAFF We have heard the chimes at midnight, Master Shallow. SHALLOW That we have, that we have, that we have. In faith, Sir John, we have. Our watchword was “Hem, boys.” Come, let’s to dinner, come, let’s to dinner. 225 Jesus, the days that we have seen! Come, come. Shallow, Silence, and Falstaff rise and exit.	Wow, says, Justice Silence, that was over fifty years ago. Yep, says, Falstaff. We've seen a whole lot in our day. Shallow urges Falstaff to join him and Silence for dinner. The three old school chums go inside, leaving the lackeys outside.
BULLCALF Good Master Corporate Bardolph, stand my friend, and here’s four Harry ten-shillings in French crowns for you. He gives Bardolph money. In very truth, sir, I had as lief be hanged, sir, as go. 230 And yet, for mine own part, sir, I do not care, but rather because I am unwilling, and, for mine own part, have a desire to stay with my friends. Else, sir, I did not care, for mine own part, so much. BARDOLPH Go to. Stand aside. 235 MOULDY And, good Master Corporal Captain, for my old dame’s sake, stand my friend. She has nobody to do anything about her when I am gone, and she is old and cannot help herself. You shall have forty, sir. He gives money. 240 BARDOLPH Go to. Stand aside. FEEBLE By my troth, I care not. A man can die but once. We owe God a death. I’ll ne’er bear a base mind. An ’t be my destiny, so; an ’t be not, so. No man’s too good to serve ’s prince, and let it go 245 which way it will, he that dies this year is quit for the next. BARDOLPH Well said. Th’ art a good fellow. FEEBLE Faith, I’ll bear no base mind.	Bullcalf steps forward and offers Bardolph a bribe. Bardolph takes it, of course. Mouldy thinks this is a good idea so he offers Bardolph money as well.
Enter Falstaff and the Justices. FALSTAFF Come, sir, which men shall I have? 250 SHALLOW Four of which you please. BARDOLPH, aside to Falstaff Sir, a word with you. I have three pound to free Mouldy and Bullcalf. FALSTAFF Go to, well. SHALLOW Come, Sir John, which four will you have? 255 FALSTAFF Do you choose for me. SHALLOW Marry, then, Mouldy, Bullcalf, Feeble, and Shadow. FALSTAFF Mouldy and Bullcalf! For you, Mouldy, stay at home till you are past service.—And for your 260 part, Bullcalf, grow till you come unto it. I will none of you. Mouldy and Bullcalf exit.	Then Falstaff, Shallow, and Silence return and Bardolph informs Falstaff that Bullcalf and Mouldy have coughed up some cash so they can let them go. Falstaff excuses Mouldy and Bullcalf from service.
SHALLOW Sir John, Sir John, do not yourself wrong. They are your likeliest men, and I would have you served with the best. 265 FALSTAFF Will you tell me, Master Shallow, how to choose a man? Care I for the limb, the thews, the stature, bulk and big assemblance of a man? Give me the spirit, Master Shallow. Here’s Wart. You see what a ragged appearance it is. He shall charge you 270 and discharge you with the motion of a pewterer’s hammer, come off and on swifter than he that gibbets on the brewer’s bucket. And this same half-faced fellow, Shadow, give me this man. He presents no mark to the enemy. The foeman may with 275 as great aim level at the edge of a penknife. And for a retreat, how swiftly will this Feeble, the woman’s tailor, run off! O, give me the spare men, and spare me the great ones.—Put me a caliver into Wart’s hand, Bardolph. 280	Shallow points out that Mouldy and Bullcalf are the most able bodied men in the bunch and Falstaff pretends to be miffed that another man would tell him how to do his job.
BARDOLPH, giving Wart a musket Hold, Wart. Traverse. Thas, thas, thas. FALSTAFF, to Wart Come, manage me your caliver: so, very well, go to, very good, exceeding good. O, give me always a little, lean, old, chopped, bald shot. 285 Well said, i’ faith, Wart. Th’ art a good scab. Hold, there’s a tester for thee. He gives Wart money. SHALLOW He is not his craft’s master. He doth not do it right. I remember at Mile End Green, when I lay at Clement’s Inn—I was then Sir Dagonet in Arthur’s 290 show—there was a little quiver fellow, and he would manage you his piece thus. Shallow performs with the musket. And he would about and about, and come you in, and come you in. “Rah, tah, tah,” would he say. “Bounce,” would he say, 295 and away again would he go, and again would he come. I shall ne’er see such a fellow. FALSTAFF These fellows will do well, Master Shallow. —God keep you, Master Silence. I will not use many words with you. Fare you well, gentlemen 300 both. I thank you. I must a dozen mile tonight.— Bardolph, give the soldiers coats. SHALLOW Sir John, the Lord bless you. God prosper your affairs. God send us peace. At your return, visit our house. Let our old acquaintance be renewed. 305 Peradventure I will with you to the court. FALSTAFF Fore God, would you would, Master Shallow. SHALLOW Go to. I have spoke at a word. God keep you. FALSTAFF Fare you well, gentle gentlemen. 310 Shallow and Silence exit.	Then Falstaff makes Wart march around and demonstrate how to load and discharge a firearm before he declares that he'd take a ragged and skinny soldier like Wart over Mouldy and Bullcalf any old day of the week. Shallow points out that Wart has absolutely no idea what he's doing. Falstaff blows him off and says he's got a long way to march that night.
On, Bardolph. Lead the men away. All but Falstaff exit. As I return, I will fetch off these justices. I do see the bottom of Justice Shallow. Lord, Lord, how subject we old men are to this vice of lying. This same starved justice hath done nothing but prate to 315 me of the wildness of his youth and the feats he hath done about Turnbull Street, and every third word a lie, duer paid to the hearer than the Turk’s tribute. I do remember him at Clement’s Inn, like a man made after supper of a cheese paring. When he was 320 naked, he was, for all the world, like a forked radish with a head fantastically carved upon it with a knife. He was so forlorn that his dimensions to any thick sight were invincible. He was the very genius of famine, yet lecherous as a monkey, 325 and the whores called him “mandrake.” He came ever in the rearward of the fashion, and sung those tunes to the overscutched huswives that he heard the carmen whistle, and swore they were his fancies or his good-nights. And now is this Vice’s 330 dagger become a squire, and talks as familiarly of John o’ Gaunt as if he had been sworn brother to him, and I’ll be sworn he ne’er saw him but once in the tilt-yard, and then he burst his head for crowding among the Marshal’s men. I saw it 335 and told John o’ Gaunt he beat his own name, for you might have thrust him and all his apparel into an eel-skin; the case of a treble hautboy was a mansion for him, a court. And now has he land and beefs. Well, I’ll be acquainted with him if I return, 340 and ’t shall go hard but I’ll make him a philosopher’s two stones to me. If the young dace be a bait for the old pike, I see no reason in the law of nature but I may snap at him. Let time shape, and there an end. 345 He exits.	Falstaff takes his leave of the old men but not before he tells the audience he's going to swindle Justices Shallow and Silence on his way back from the war. Then Falstaff says that all old men are liars. They love to talk about the good old days but their memories and stories are garbage.

Original Text

Translated Text

Enter Justice Shallow and Justice Silence.

SHALLOW Come on, come on, come on. Give me your
hand, sir, give me your hand, sir. An early stirrer, by
the rood. And how doth my good cousin Silence?

SILENCE Good morrow, good cousin Shallow.

SHALLOW And how doth my cousin your bedfellow? 5
And your fairest daughter and mine, my goddaughter
Ellen?

SILENCE Alas, a black ousel, cousin Shallow.

SHALLOW By yea and no, sir. I dare say my cousin
William is become a good scholar. He is at Oxford 10
still, is he not?

SILENCE Indeed, sir, to my cost.

Outside his country house in Gloucestershire, Justice Shallow greets his longtime friend, Justice Silence. The two men engage in the easy banter of the middle class – they exchange pleasantries, ask after each other's families, talk about young relatives who are attending law school, the current price of livestock, and so on.

SHALLOW He must then to the Inns o’ Court shortly. I
was once of Clement’s Inn, where I think they will
talk of mad Shallow yet. 15

SILENCE You were called “Lusty Shallow” then,
cousin.

SHALLOW By the Mass, I was called anything, and I
would have done anything indeed too, and roundly
too. There was I, and little John Doit of Staffordshire, 20
and black George Barnes, and Francis Pickbone,
and Will Squele, a Cotswold man. You had
not four such swinge-bucklers in all the Inns o’
Court again. And I may say to you, we knew where
the bona robas were and had the best of them all at 25
commandment. Then was Jack Falstaff, now Sir
John, a boy, and page to Thomas Mowbray, Duke of
Norfolk.

SILENCE This Sir John, cousin, that comes hither anon
about soldiers? 30

SHALLOW The same Sir John, the very same. I see him
break Scoggin’s head at the court gate, when he
was a crack not thus high; and the very same day did
I fight with one Sampson Stockfish, a fruiterer,
behind Grey’s Inn. Jesu, Jesu, the mad days that I 35
have spent! And to see how many of my old acquaintance
are dead.

SILENCE We shall all follow, cousin.

SHALLOW Certain, ’tis certain, very sure, very sure.
Death, as the Psalmist saith, is certain to all. All 40
shall die. How a good yoke of bullocks at Stamford
Fair?

SILENCE By my troth, cousin, I was not there.

SHALLOW Death is certain. Is old Dooble of your town
living yet? 45

SILENCE Dead, sir.

SHALLOW Jesu, Jesu, dead! He drew a good bow, and
dead? He shot a fine shoot. John o’ Gaunt loved him
well, and betted much money on his head. Dead! He
would have clapped i’ th’ clout at twelve score, and 50
carried you a forehand shaft a fourteen and fourteen
and a half, that it would have done a man’s
heart good to see. How a score of ewes now?

SILENCE Thereafter as they be, a score of good ewes
may be worth ten pounds. 55

SHALLOW And is old Dooble dead?

SILENCE Here come two of Sir John Falstaff’s men, as I
think.

It's not long before the two begin to reminisce about the "good old days," when Shallow and Silence were young students at the Inns of Court (prestigious law schools in London). Nowadays, so many of their old friends are dead and gone.

The old men note that they too will be dead and gone some time soon, death being the one certainty in life.

Enter Bardolph and one with him.

SHALLOW Good morrow, honest gentlemen.

BARDOLPH I beseech you, which is Justice Shallow? 60

SHALLOW I am Robert Shallow, sir, a poor esquire of
this county and one of the King’s justices of the
peace. What is your good pleasure with me?

BARDOLPH My captain, sir, commends him to you, my
captain, Sir John Falstaff, a tall gentleman, by 65
heaven, and a most gallant leader.

SHALLOW He greets me well, sir. I knew him a good
backsword man. How doth the good knight? May I
ask how my lady his wife doth?

BARDOLPH Sir, pardon. A soldier is better accommodated 70
than with a wife.

Before the Justices can think of any more of their dead friends, Bardolph and Falstaff's Page show up and announce the imminent arrival of Falstaff.

The Justices ask how Falstaff's wife is doing and Bardolph replies that Falstaff is "better accommodated" than with a wife. (Translation: Please. Falstaff doesn't need a wife. He sees plenty of action at the brothels.)

SHALLOW It is well said, in faith, sir, and it is well said
indeed too. “Better accommodated.” It is good,
yea, indeed is it. Good phrases are surely, and ever
were, very commendable. “Accommodated.” It 75
comes of accommodo. Very good, a good phrase.

BARDOLPH Pardon, sir, I have heard the word—
“phrase” call you it? By this day, I know not the
phrase, but I will maintain the word with my sword
to be a soldierlike word, and a word of exceeding 80
good command, by heaven. “Accommodated,” that
is when a man is, as they say, accommodated, or
when a man is being whereby he may be thought to
be accommodated, which is an excellent thing.

Enter Falstaff.

SHALLOW It is very just. Look, here comes good Sir 85
John.—Give me your good hand, give me your
Worship’s good hand. By my troth, you like well and
bear your years very well. Welcome, good Sir John.

FALSTAFF I am glad to see you well, good Master
Robert Shallow.—Master Sure-card, as I think? 90

SHALLOW No, Sir John. It is my cousin Silence, in
commission with me.

FALSTAFF Good Master Silence, it well befits you
should be of the peace.

SILENCE Your good Worship is welcome. 95

FALSTAFF Fie, this is hot weather, gentlemen. Have you
provided me here half a dozen sufficient men?

SHALLOW Marry, have we, sir. Will you sit?

They sit at a table.

Falstaff arrives, exchanges pleasantries with the old men, and asks if they've gathered up the men he's asked for. (Falstaff is in Gloucestershire to enlist soldiers into the king's army.)

FALSTAFF Let me see them, I beseech you.

SHALLOW Where’s the roll? Where’s the roll? Where’s 100
the roll? Let me see, let me see, let me see. So, so,
so, so, so. So, so. Yea, marry, sir.—Rafe Mouldy!—
Let them appear as I call, let them do so, let them
do so.

Enter Mouldy, followed by Shadow, Wart, Feeble,
and Bullcalf.

Let me see, where is Mouldy? 105

MOULDY, coming forward Here, an it please you.

SHALLOW What think you, Sir John? A good-limbed
fellow, young, strong, and of good friends.

FALSTAFF Is thy name Mouldy?

MOULDY Yea, an ’t please you. 110

FALSTAFF ’Tis the more time thou wert used.

SHALLOW Ha, ha, ha, most excellent, i’ faith! Things
that are mouldy lack use. Very singular good, in
faith. Well said, Sir John, very well said.

FALSTAFF Prick him. 115

Shallow marks the scroll.

MOULDY I was pricked well enough before, an you
could have let me alone. My old dame will be
undone now for one to do her husbandry and her
drudgery. You need not to have pricked me. There
are other men fitter to go out than I. 120

FALSTAFF Go to. Peace, Mouldy. You shall go. Mouldy,
it is time you were spent.

MOULDY Spent?

Shallow and Silence have indeed gathered up some men and proceed to trot out the recruits one at a time so Falstaff can inspect them and make fun of them.

The first man is Mouldy (that's really his name) who tries to get out of serving by claiming that his wife will be seriously angry at him if he leaves for battle because she won't have anyone to service her or do the household chores. Too bad, says Falstaff, who signs him up for military service anyway.

SHALLOW Peace, fellow, peace. Stand aside. Know you
where you are?—For th’ other, Sir John. Let me 125
see.—Simon Shadow!

FALSTAFF Yea, marry, let me have him to sit under.
He’s like to be a cold soldier.

SHALLOW Where’s Shadow?

SHADOW, coming forward Here, sir. 130

FALSTAFF Shadow, whose son art thou?

SHADOW My mother’s son, sir.

FALSTAFF Thy mother’s son! Like enough, and thy
father’s shadow. So the son of the female is the
shadow of the male. It is often so, indeed, but much 135
of the father’s substance.

SHALLOW Do you like him, Sir John?

FALSTAFF Shadow will serve for summer. Prick him,
for we have a number of shadows to fill up the
muster book. 140

SHALLOW Thomas Wart!

FALSTAFF Where’s he?

WART, coming forward Here, sir.

FALSTAFF Is thy name Wart?

WART Yea, sir. 145

FALSTAFF Thou art a very ragged wart.

SHALLOW Shall I prick him down, Sir John?

FALSTAFF It were superfluous, for his apparel is built
upon his back, and the whole frame stands upon
pins. Prick him no more. 150

SHALLOW Ha, ha, ha. You can do it, sir, you can do it. I
commend you well.—Francis Feeble!

FEEBLE, coming forward Here, sir.

SHALLOW What trade art thou, Feeble?

FEEBLE A woman’s tailor, sir. 155

SHALLOW Shall I prick him, sir?

FALSTAFF You may, but if he had been a man’s tailor,
he’d ha’ pricked you.—Wilt thou make as many
holes in an enemy’s battle as thou hast done in a
woman’s petticoat? 160

FEEBLE I will do my good will, sir. You can have no
more.

FALSTAFF Well said, good woman’s tailor, well said,
courageous Feeble. Thou wilt be as valiant as the
wrathful dove or most magnanimous mouse.— 165
Prick the woman’s tailor well, Master Shallow,
deep, Master Shallow.

FEEBLE I would Wart might have gone, sir.

FALSTAFF I would thou wert a man’s tailor, that thou
mightst mend him and make him fit to go. I cannot 170
put him to a private soldier that is the leader of so
many thousands. Let that suffice, most forcible
Feeble.

FEEBLE It shall suffice, sir.

FALSTAFF I am bound to thee, reverend Feeble.—Who 175
is the next?

Next come Shadow, Wart, and Feeble. The latter is a woman's tailor so Falstaff makes a few cracks about what a "feeble" wimp he must be. He signs up Shadow and Feeble but tells Wart to stand aside.

SHALLOW Peter Bullcalf o’ th’ green.

FALSTAFF Yea, marry, let’s see Bullcalf.

BULLCALF, coming forward Here, sir.

FALSTAFF Fore God, a likely fellow. Come, prick me 180
Bullcalf till he roar again.

BULLCALF O Lord, good my lord captain—

FALSTAFF What, dost thou roar before thou art
pricked?

BULLCALF O Lord, sir, I am a diseased man. 185

FALSTAFF What disease hast thou?

BULLCALF A whoreson cold, sir, a cough, sir, which I
caught with ringing in the King’s affairs upon his
coronation day, sir.

FALSTAFF Come, thou shalt go to the wars in a gown. 190
We will have away thy cold, and I will take such
order that thy friends shall ring for thee.—Is here
all?

Then a young man named Bullcalf is trotted out. When Falstaff enlists him, Bullcalf complains that he's "diseased." Apparently, he caught a cold while he was celebrating the king's recent coronation and, sadly, he's now unfit to serve the king in the army. Falstaff signs him up anyway.

SHALLOW Here is two more called than your number.
You must have but four here, sir, and so I pray you 195
go in with me to dinner.

FALSTAFF Come, I will go drink with you, but I cannot
tarry dinner. I am glad to see you, by my troth,
Master Shallow.

SHALLOW O, Sir John, do you remember since we lay 200
all night in the windmill in Saint George’s Field?

FALSTAFF No more of that, good Master Shallow, no
more of that.

SHALLOW Ha, ’twas a merry night. And is Jane Nightwork
alive? 205

FALSTAFF She lives, Master Shallow.

SHALLOW She never could away with me.

FALSTAFF Never, never. She would always say she could
not abide Master Shallow.

SHALLOW By the Mass, I could anger her to th’ heart. 210
She was then a bona roba. Doth she hold her own
well?

FALSTAFF Old, old, Master Shallow.

SHALLOW Nay, she must be old. She cannot choose but
be old. Certain, she’s old, and had Robin Nightwork 215
by old Nightwork before I came to Clement’s Inn.

Enlisting unwilling men into the military is thirsty work so Justice Shallow invites Falstaff in for a drink and a nice, hot meal.

Of course Falstaff will stay for a drink but he doesn't have time for dinner.

Shallow can't wait to reminisce with Falstaff about the old days, when they were law students together and spent their free time raising hell in the taverns and brothels.

Shallow asks if an old acquaintance, Jane Nightwork, is still alive and Falstaff says yes but she's old these days. (We're guessing by her name that Ms. Nightwork is a prostitute the men used to visit.)

SILENCE That’s fifty-five year ago.

SHALLOW Ha, cousin Silence, that thou hadst seen that
that this knight and I have seen!—Ha, Sir John, said
I well? 220

FALSTAFF We have heard the chimes at midnight, Master
Shallow.

SHALLOW That we have, that we have, that we have. In
faith, Sir John, we have. Our watchword was “Hem,
boys.” Come, let’s to dinner, come, let’s to dinner. 225
Jesus, the days that we have seen! Come, come.

Shallow, Silence, and Falstaff rise and exit.

Wow, says, Justice Silence, that was over fifty years ago.

Yep, says, Falstaff. We've seen a whole lot in our day.

Shallow urges Falstaff to join him and Silence for dinner. The three old school chums go inside, leaving the lackeys outside.

BULLCALF Good Master Corporate Bardolph, stand my
friend, and here’s four Harry ten-shillings in
French crowns for you. He gives Bardolph money.
In very truth, sir, I had as lief be hanged, sir, as go. 230
And yet, for mine own part, sir, I do not care, but
rather because I am unwilling, and, for mine own
part, have a desire to stay with my friends. Else, sir,
I did not care, for mine own part, so much.

BARDOLPH Go to. Stand aside. 235

MOULDY And, good Master Corporal Captain, for my
old dame’s sake, stand my friend. She has nobody to
do anything about her when I am gone, and she is
old and cannot help herself. You shall have forty,
sir. He gives money. 240

BARDOLPH Go to. Stand aside.

FEEBLE By my troth, I care not. A man can die but
once. We owe God a death. I’ll ne’er bear a base
mind. An ’t be my destiny, so; an ’t be not, so. No
man’s too good to serve ’s prince, and let it go 245
which way it will, he that dies this year is quit for
the next.

BARDOLPH Well said. Th’ art a good fellow.

FEEBLE Faith, I’ll bear no base mind.

Bullcalf steps forward and offers Bardolph a bribe. Bardolph takes it, of course.

Mouldy thinks this is a good idea so he offers Bardolph money as well.

Enter Falstaff and the Justices.

FALSTAFF Come, sir, which men shall I have? 250

SHALLOW Four of which you please.

BARDOLPH, aside to Falstaff Sir, a word with you. I
have three pound to free Mouldy and Bullcalf.

FALSTAFF Go to, well.

SHALLOW Come, Sir John, which four will you have? 255

FALSTAFF Do you choose for me.

SHALLOW Marry, then, Mouldy, Bullcalf, Feeble, and
Shadow.

FALSTAFF Mouldy and Bullcalf! For you, Mouldy, stay
at home till you are past service.—And for your 260
part, Bullcalf, grow till you come unto it. I will
none of you.

Mouldy and Bullcalf exit.

Then Falstaff, Shallow, and Silence return and Bardolph informs Falstaff that Bullcalf and Mouldy have coughed up some cash so they can let them go.

Falstaff excuses Mouldy and Bullcalf from service.

SHALLOW Sir John, Sir John, do not yourself wrong.
They are your likeliest men, and I would have you
served with the best. 265

FALSTAFF Will you tell me, Master Shallow, how to
choose a man? Care I for the limb, the thews, the
stature, bulk and big assemblance of a man? Give
me the spirit, Master Shallow. Here’s Wart. You see
what a ragged appearance it is. He shall charge you 270
and discharge you with the motion of a pewterer’s
hammer, come off and on swifter than he that
gibbets on the brewer’s bucket. And this same half-faced
fellow, Shadow, give me this man. He presents
no mark to the enemy. The foeman may with 275
as great aim level at the edge of a penknife. And for
a retreat, how swiftly will this Feeble, the woman’s
tailor, run off! O, give me the spare men, and spare
me the great ones.—Put me a caliver into Wart’s
hand, Bardolph. 280

Shallow points out that Mouldy and Bullcalf are the most able bodied men in the bunch and Falstaff pretends to be miffed that another man would tell him how to do his job.

BARDOLPH, giving Wart a musket Hold, Wart. Traverse.
Thas, thas, thas.

FALSTAFF, to Wart Come, manage me your caliver: so,
very well, go to, very good, exceeding good. O, give
me always a little, lean, old, chopped, bald shot. 285
Well said, i’ faith, Wart. Th’ art a good scab. Hold,
there’s a tester for thee. He gives Wart money.

SHALLOW He is not his craft’s master. He doth not do it
right. I remember at Mile End Green, when I lay at
Clement’s Inn—I was then Sir Dagonet in Arthur’s 290
show—there was a little quiver fellow, and he
would manage you his piece thus. Shallow performs
with the musket. And he would about and
about, and come you in, and come you in. “Rah,
tah, tah,” would he say. “Bounce,” would he say, 295
and away again would he go, and again would he
come. I shall ne’er see such a fellow.

FALSTAFF These fellows will do well, Master Shallow.
—God keep you, Master Silence. I will not use
many words with you. Fare you well, gentlemen 300
both. I thank you. I must a dozen mile tonight.—
Bardolph, give the soldiers coats.

SHALLOW Sir John, the Lord bless you. God prosper
your affairs. God send us peace. At your return, visit
our house. Let our old acquaintance be renewed. 305
Peradventure I will with you to the court.

FALSTAFF Fore God, would you would, Master
Shallow.

SHALLOW Go to. I have spoke at a word. God keep you.

FALSTAFF Fare you well, gentle gentlemen. 310

Shallow and Silence exit.

Then Falstaff makes Wart march around and demonstrate how to load and discharge a firearm before he declares that he'd take a ragged and skinny soldier like Wart over Mouldy and Bullcalf any old day of the week.

Shallow points out that Wart has absolutely no idea what he's doing. Falstaff blows him off and says he's got a long way to march that night.

On, Bardolph. Lead the men away.

All but Falstaff exit.

As I return, I will fetch off these justices. I do see
the bottom of Justice Shallow. Lord, Lord, how
subject we old men are to this vice of lying. This
same starved justice hath done nothing but prate to 315
me of the wildness of his youth and the feats he hath
done about Turnbull Street, and every third word a
lie, duer paid to the hearer than the Turk’s tribute. I
do remember him at Clement’s Inn, like a man
made after supper of a cheese paring. When he was 320
naked, he was, for all the world, like a forked radish
with a head fantastically carved upon it with a
knife. He was so forlorn that his dimensions to
any thick sight were invincible. He was the very
genius of famine, yet lecherous as a monkey, 325
and the whores called him “mandrake.” He came
ever in the rearward of the fashion, and sung
those tunes to the overscutched huswives that he
heard the carmen whistle, and swore they were his
fancies or his good-nights. And now is this Vice’s 330
dagger become a squire, and talks as familiarly
of John o’ Gaunt as if he had been sworn brother
to him, and I’ll be sworn he ne’er saw him but
once in the tilt-yard, and then he burst his head
for crowding among the Marshal’s men. I saw it 335
and told John o’ Gaunt he beat his own name, for
you might have thrust him and all his apparel into
an eel-skin; the case of a treble hautboy was a
mansion for him, a court. And now has he land and
beefs. Well, I’ll be acquainted with him if I return, 340
and ’t shall go hard but I’ll make him a philosopher’s
two stones to me. If the young dace be a
bait for the old pike, I see no reason in the law of
nature but I may snap at him. Let time shape, and
there an end. 345

He exits.

Falstaff takes his leave of the old men but not before he tells the audience he's going to swindle Justices Shallow and Silence on his way back from the war.

Then Falstaff says that all old men are liars. They love to talk about the good old days but their memories and stories are garbage.

Henry IV Part 2: Act 3, Scene 2 Translation

A side-by-side translation of Act 3, Scene 2 of Henry IV Part 2 from the original Shakespeare into modern English.

Original Text

Translated Text

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