Original Text |
Translated Text |
| Source: Folger Shakespeare Library |
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Scene 2Alarum. Excursions. Enter Falstaff and Colevile. FALSTAFF What’s your name, sir? Of what condition are
you, and of what place, I pray? COLEVILE I am a knight, sir, and my name is Colevile of
the Dale. FALSTAFF Well then, Colevile is your name, a knight is 5
your degree, and your place the Dale. Colevile shall
be still your name, a traitor your degree, and the
dungeon your place, a place deep enough so shall
you be still Colevile of the Dale. COLEVILE Are not you Sir John Falstaff? 10 FALSTAFF As good a man as he, sir, whoe’er I am. Do
you yield, sir, or shall I sweat for you? If I do sweat,
they are the drops of thy lovers and they weep for
thy death. Therefore rouse up fear and trembling,
and do observance to my mercy. 15 COLEVILE I think you are Sir John Falstaff, and in that
thought yield me. FALSTAFF I have a whole school of tongues in this belly
of mine, and not a tongue of them all speaks any
other word but my name. An I had but a belly of any 20
indifferency, I were simply the most active fellow in
Europe. My womb, my womb, my womb undoes
me. Here comes our general. | (Note: In the Folger's edition we're using, this is where Scene 2 starts.) We're in Gaultree Forest, where Falstaff, a Captain in the king's army, encounters the rebel, Coleville. Falstaff calls Coleville a traitor and tells him he better get used to the idea of living in a dungeon, because that's where traitors end up. Coleville is literally shaking in his boots and asks "Are you Falstaff?" Falstaff replies that he's as good a man as Falstaff so Coleville better submit, ASAP, unless he wants a beating. Coleville drops to his knees and surrenders. |
Enter John, Westmoreland, and the rest. JOHN OF LANCASTER
The heat is past. Follow no further now.
Call in the powers, good cousin Westmoreland. 25
Westmoreland exits. Retreat is sounded.
Now, Falstaff, where have you been all this while?
When everything is ended, then you come.
These tardy tricks of yours will, on my life,
One time or other break some gallows’ back. FALSTAFF I would be sorry, my lord, but it should be 30
thus. I never knew yet but rebuke and check was the
reward of valor. Do you think me a swallow, an
arrow, or a bullet? Have I in my poor and old
motion the expedition of thought? I have speeded
hither with the very extremest inch of possibility. I 35
have foundered ninescore and odd posts, and here,
travel-tainted as I am, have in my pure and immaculate
valor taken Sir John Colevile of the Dale, a most
furious knight and valorous enemy. But what of
that? He saw me and yielded, that I may justly say, 40
with the hook-nosed fellow of Rome, “There, cousin,
I came, saw, and overcame.” JOHN OF LANCASTER It was more of his courtesy than
your deserving. | Prince John, Westmoreland, and John Blunt arrive with their posse of nobles and soldiers. Prince John demands to know where the heck Falstaff has been this whole time. He's sick and tired of Falstaff's shenanigans. Sooner or later, Falstaff's going to get himself hanged. Falstaff responds that Prince John's got a lot of nerve. Falstaff rushed to Gaultree Forest just as soon as he possibly could. (As if he hadn't been messing around in a tavern with Doll Tearsheet or anything.)
Falstaff continues to say that, when he arrived at Gaultree, he fought valiantly against Coleville, "a most furious knight and valorous enemy." Falstaff caps off his story by comparing himself to Julius Caesar and then quoting, "I came, I saw, and overcame." Prince John's not buying anything Falstaff's selling, including the aforementioned bologna. |
FALSTAFF I know not. Here he is, and here I yield him. 45
And I beseech your Grace let it be booked with the
rest of this day’s deeds, or, by the Lord, I will have it
in a particular ballad else, with mine own picture
on the top on ’t, Colevile kissing my foot; to the
which course if I be enforced, if you do not all show 50
like gilt twopences to me, and I in the clear sky of
fame o’ershine you as much as the full moon doth
the cinders of the element (which show like pins’
heads to her), believe not the word of the noble.
Therefore let me have right, and let desert mount. 55 JOHN OF LANCASTER Thine’s too heavy to mount. FALSTAFF Let it shine, then. JOHN OF LANCASTER Thine’s too thick to shine. FALSTAFF Let it do something, my good lord, that may
do me good, and call it what you will. 60 | Falstaff, as we know, is out of control and continues on, insisting that his heroic deeds should be published. In fact, he might just commission a ballad (a kind of newsletter that reports gossip and news stories) complete with a picture of Coleville kissing his, Falstaff's, foot. And furthermore, Prince John and the others look like a bunch of phonies compared to Falstaff, who deserves a reward for his heroism, etc. |
JOHN OF LANCASTER Is thy name Colevile? COLEVILE It is, my lord. JOHN OF LANCASTER A famous rebel art thou,
Colevile. FALSTAFF And a famous true subject took him. 65 COLEVILE
I am, my lord, but as my betters are
That led me hither. Had they been ruled by me,
You should have won them dearer than you have. FALSTAFF I know not how they sold themselves, but
thou, like a kind fellow, gavest thyself away gratis, 70
and I thank thee for thee. Enter Westmoreland. JOHN OF LANCASTER Now, have you left pursuit? WESTMORELAND
Retreat is made and execution stayed. JOHN OF LANCASTER
Send Colevile with his confederates
To York, to present execution.— 75
Blunt, lead him hence, and see you guard him sure. Blunt exits with Colevile. And now dispatch we toward the court, my lords.
I hear the King my father is sore sick.
Our news shall go before us to his Majesty,
To Westmoreland. Which, cousin, you shall bear 80
to comfort him,
And we with sober speed will follow you. FALSTAFF My lord, I beseech you give me leave to go
through Gloucestershire, and, when you come to
court, stand my good lord, pray, in your good 85
report. JOHN OF LANCASTER
Fare you well, Falstaff. I, in my condition,
Shall better speak of you than you deserve. | Prince John ignores Falstaff, turning his attention instead to ordering the execution of Coleville. Prince John then sends Westmoreland ahead to King Henry IV's castle to deliver the great news to the ailing king, who might find comfort in the victory over the rebels. |
All but Falstaff exit. FALSTAFF I would you had but the wit; ’twere better
than your dukedom. Good faith, this same young 90
sober-blooded boy doth not love me, nor a man
cannot make him laugh. But that’s no marvel; he
drinks no wine. There’s never none of these demure
boys come to any proof, for thin drink doth so
overcool their blood, and making many fish meals, 95
that they fall into a kind of male green-sickness, and
then, when they marry, they get wenches. They are
generally fools and cowards, which some of us
should be too, but for inflammation. A good sherris
sack hath a two-fold operation in it. It ascends me 100
into the brain, dries me there all the foolish and
dull and crudy vapors which environ it, makes it
apprehensive, quick, forgetive, full of nimble, fiery,
and delectable shapes, which, delivered o’er to the
voice, the tongue, which is the birth, becomes 105
excellent wit. The second property of your excellent
sherris is the warming of the blood, which,
before cold and settled, left the liver white and pale,
which is the badge of pusillanimity and cowardice.
But the sherris warms it and makes it course from 110
the inwards to the parts’ extremes. It illumineth the
face, which as a beacon gives warning to all the rest
of this little kingdom, man, to arm; and then the
vital commoners and inland petty spirits muster me
all to their captain, the heart, who, great and puffed 115
up with this retinue, doth any deed of courage, and
this valor comes of sherris. So that skill in the
weapon is nothing without sack, for that sets it
a-work; and learning a mere hoard of gold kept
by a devil till sack commences it and sets it in 120
act and use. Hereof comes it that Prince Harry is
valiant, for the cold blood he did naturally inherit
of his father he hath, like lean, sterile, and bare
land, manured, husbanded, and tilled with excellent
endeavor of drinking good and good store 125
of fertile sherris, that he is become very hot and valiant.
If I had a thousand sons, the first human principle
I would teach them should be to forswear
thin potations and to addict themselves to sack. | All but Falstaff ride off, leaving our man on stage to deliver a speech about his favorite beverage, wine. Falstaff's speech goes something like this: Prince John doesn't like me much but that's no wonder because the guy doesn't drink wine, which is also the reason why Prince John didn't turn out to be a man. Instead, he suffers from "greensickness" (an anemic condition thought to affect young girls during puberty). In other words, Prince John is acting like a girl. If he had been a big wine drinker like me, he would have turned out to be a valiant man. Also, Prince Hal would have been a wimp like his father if he hadn't taken a liking to drinking wine, which made him "hot and valiant." If I had sons of my own, the first thing I'd teach them about is the importance of becoming "addicted" to wine. |
Enter Bardolph. How now, Bardolph? 130 BARDOLPH The army is discharged all and gone. FALSTAFF Let them go. I’ll through Gloucestershire,
and there will I visit Master Robert Shallow,
Esquire. I have him already temp’ring between my
finger and my thumb, and shortly will I seal with 135
him. Come away. They exit. | Bardolph shows up and Falstaff says they should return home to London. But first, they should make a pit-stop in Gloucestershire so Falstaff can swindle Justice Shallow and Justice Silence. |