How we cite our quotes: All quotations are from Kramer vs. Kramer.
Quote #1
TED: You're terrific. Boy, you're… Thanks very much, really. (sighing) The sisterhood. I wanna thank you for coming up here and cheering me up, but you—
MARGARET: I didn't come up here to cheer you up. I came up because I'm concerned about Joanna.
The sisterhood Ted's trying to blame here? It has nothing to do with traveling pants. Ted's referring to the women's movement, which sought equal rights for American women. Ted's blaming it for blowing up his family.
Quote #2
TED: I got people to see, and Daddy's gotta bring home the bacon. Not only does he bring home the bacon, but he's gotta cook it, too, doesn't he?
This was kind of a radical idea, even in 1979, that a man would handle domestic responsibilities. Ted's doing his best to convince Billy that he can handle it, because he's not exactly confident himself.
Quote #3
TED: (reading Joanna's letter to Billy) "Mommy has gone away. Sometimes in the world, daddies go away and mommies bring up their little boys, but sometimes a mommy can go away, too, and you have your daddy to bring you up. I have gone away because I must find something interesting to do for myself in the world. Everybody has to, and so do I. Being your mommy was one thing, but there are other things, too, and this is what I have to do. I did not get a chance to tell you this, and that is why I'm writing you now. I will always be your mommy, and I will always love you; I just won't be your mommy in the house, but I'll be your mommy in the heart. And now I must go—"
Billy turns the TV back on.TED: "—and be the person I have to be." We're gonna read this another time.
BILLY: I don't care.
If you ask us, the key thing to zero in on here in Joanna's letter to Billy is this idea that everybody has to find something interesting to do for themselves in the world. This was a revelation to Joanna; before she realized that she could be more than just a wife and a mother, she felt that, because she was a woman, being a wife and a mom were the only options available to her. That's probably why she stuck around for so long, too.
Quote #4
TED: I'm not that late, Billy. I'm only 20 minutes.
BILLY: You wanna make a bet?
TED: Yeah.
BILLY: All the other mothers were there before you.
Surprised that all the other parents picking up kids from the birthday party were women? Yeah, us neither. Billy's using "mothers" to mean "primary caregivers"—clueing us in to what was the norm in those days.
Quote #5
JOANNA: I have a whole speech.
TED: No, go ahead.
JOANNA: All my life I've felt like somebody's wife or somebody's mother or somebody's daughter. Even all the time we were together, I never knew who I was. That's why I had to go away, and in California, I think found myself. I got myself a job. I got myself a therapist—a really good one—and I feel better about myself than I ever have in my whole life. And I've learned a great deal about myself.
Personally we find the whole "finding oneself" a little buzzword-y in an otherwise moving speech by Joanna. We'll forgive her because she admits it was kind of a prepared speech.
Quote #6
SHAUNESSY: Now, how old is the child again?
TED: Uh, my son is seven.
SHAUNESSY: Oh, that's tough.
TED: Why?
SHAUNESSY: Well, in most cases involving a child that young, the court tends to side with the mother.
TED: But she signed over custody.
SHAUNESSY: I'm not saying we don't have a shot, but it won't be easy.
At the time the film was made, dads were being awarded custody in increasing numbers, but courts still mostly thought that women are better parents simply by virtue of their gender. Shaunessy is laying out the odds pretty honestly.
Quote #7
TED: You proud of me?
BILLY: Yeah. How'd you get this job?
TED: I told them I wanted it.
It's hard to picture Joanna saying this, isn't it? A man pulling off what Ted did— demanding that Spencer and Ackerman decide whether to give him the job on the spot—is aggressive and bold. A woman doing the same thing might be just as easily regarded as pushy and another word that starts with "b" that isn't "bold."
Quote #8
SHAUNESSY: Motherhood. They're going right for the throat.
Shaunessy's trepidation reflects society's prevailing attitude toward the role of fathers at the time—namely that, outside of extreme circumstances, they're second-rate parents.
Quote #9
JOANNA: At the time I left, I felt that there was something terribly wrong with me, and that my son would be better off without me. And it was only after I got to California that I realized, after getting into therapy, that I wasn't such a terrible person, and just because I needed some kind of creative or emotional outlet other than my child, that didn't make me unfit to be a mother.
Hopefully, the fact that Joanna was expected to be a wife and a mom—and only a wife and a mom—seems ludicrous to you now in the 21st century.
Quote #10
TED: My wife used to always say to me, "Why can't a woman have the same ambitions as a man?" I think you're right, and maybe I've learned that much, but by the same token, I'd like to know what law is it that says that a woman is a better parent simply by virtue of her sex.
No law, Ted. Ted's speech may not resonate with the judge, who grants custody to Joanna, but it presents the central question of the movie, as well as an interesting critique of gender roles and expectations in 1979.