Quote 21
[…] she felt like a nun who has left the world and feels fold round her the familiar veils and the response to old devotions. (2.2)
Any feelings of carefree sexuality that Clarissa once had as a young woman are now gone. Now that she’s married and has a child, she represses all her sexual desires.
Quote 22
So the room was an attic; the bed narrow; and lying there reading, for she slept badly, she could not dispel a virginity preserved through childbirth which clung to her like a sheet. (2.10)
Clarissa’s most profound moment of erotic expression was with Sally Seton – that one kiss. She feels that she’s a virgin now that she sleeps by herself.
Quote 23
Why, after all, did she do these things? Why seek pinnacles and stand drenched in fire? Might it consume her anyhow! Burn her to cinders! (6.7)
Clarissa worries that her party will be a failure. She wonders why she sets herself up for failure and disappointment. These are all feelings that she cannot express to the outside world for fear of losing her facade of upper-class perfection.
Quote 24
She had once thrown a shilling into the Serpentine, never anything more. But he had flung it away. (6.85)
Clarissa had never been forced to give anything up and had never taken any real risks. She compares throwing a coin into a lake to Septimus’ throwing himself out the window. Both she and Septimus have been repressing emotions, they just deal with it differently.
Quote 25
She remembered once throwing a shilling into the Serpentine. But every one remembered; what she loved was this, here, now, in front of her; the fat lady in the cab. (1.16)
Her memory of throwing the coin may seem silly but it was a big deal to Clarissa. This act of throwing the coin is her moment of greatest risk and daring.
Then came the most exquisite moment of her whole life passing a stone urn with flowers in it. Sally stopped; picked a flower; kissed her on the lips. The whole world might have turned upside down! (2.17)
Clarissa cherishes the memory of being kissed by Sally. Nothing could ever be that wonderful.