How we cite our quotes: (Chapter.Paragraph)
Quote #1
But it wasn't until he was in bed that he felt—really felt—just how embarrassed he was. And, for heaven's sake, how could he not have realized that Ton was a boy? Thinking about it now, he knew he'd known all the time. Had sensed it. But he'd wanted Ton to be a girl, had wanted it very much, and wouldn't let himself see that he wasn't. The truth was he'd deceived himself. (3.4)
Hmm… it sounds to us like Jacob is just trying to convince himself he's something he's not. Why does he freak out about being attracted to Ton? The same reason he doesn't really know how to live: he's still figuring out who he is.
Quote #2
"Some people say falling in love is a kind of madness whenever it happens. If that's so, all I can say is I would rather be mad than sane." (4.113)
Alma comforts Jacob when she tells him this, because he's worried he sounds like a circus freak for loving a character. The novel shows us that there are all different kinds of loves—with a person, a city, a character, a memory—and all are important to different people, and at different times.
Quote #3
"I asked Geertrui the other day what she thought love is—real love, true love. She said that for her real love is observing another person and being observed by another person with complete attention. If she's right, you only have to look at the pictures Rembrandt painted of Titus, and there are quite a lot, to see that they loved each other. Because that is what you're seeing. Complete attention, one of the other." (8.61)
Leave it to Geertrui to come up with a beautiful definition of l-o-v-e. If we stop and think about it, there are many characters who love one another by this measure. And it's not limited to just people either—Jacob's love for Anne Frank and Daan's for Rembrandt would easily fall under this category as well.